Vacation of the Ouendan
by Jhonic
Summary: The Ouendan win a free vacation, stuff happens, hilarity ensues. Rated T for mild language and romance.
1. Chapter One: The Letter

**Chapter One: The Letter**

To the Ouendan this seemed like another boring Saturday, but little did they know that THIS Saturday would not be so boring. Let's take a look.

"Let's see what's in the bill box today…" Kai said as he sifted and sorted the Ouendan's mail. "Bill, bill, Aoi, Ryuta, bill, Anna, bill, junk mail, MORE junk mail, Suzuki, MORE JUNK MAIL! GAH!" Kai dropped the mail into a large cardboard box. "All I get is bills and junk mail."

Kai climbed the stairs that led four stories up onto a hill with the Ouendan's HQ at the top. Kai then proceeded to kick the door in. Then Kai yelled "MAIL CALL! COME HERE AND GET YOUR MAIL BEFORE I PUT IT THROUGH THE SHREDDER!" He then realized the chaos he had unleashed when he said that. "Oh. Crap." Seven people were headed right at him.

Aoi, the pink haired cheerleader, dove into the box of mail. She then said "I love mail!" Suddenly, she jumped out, screaming. "OWWW! OWIE! I got a paper cut!" Aoi held up her bleeding hand.

Ryuta then said "Well go get a bandage, Aoi. We won't shred your mail, right Kai?" Ryuta began to smirk a little.

"Yeah, we won't shred your mail" Kai said, snickering quietly. When Aoi left, he picked out a random piece of junk mail, placed it in the shredder, and hit the 'on' switch. "OOPS! I ACCIDENTALY SHREDDED ONE OF AOI'S LETTERS!"

Aoi ran out of the bathroom, screaming: "NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! DON'T SHRED MY MAIL!" Aoi was running so fast that her high topped shoes flew off of her feet.

Kai said "Relax, Aoi. It was just some of my crappy junk mail." Kai burst out laughing. After a while he calmed down and said "SO, junk mail DOES have a purpose!" Everybody except Aoi started laughing.

Aoi then seemed to change, she seemed angrier than she usually was when they pulled this prank on her. She was so angry, so annoyed, that she walked up to Kai, and slapped him SO hard that he fell over onto his back, clutching his face. Then Aoi said "I swear to GOD Kai, if you pull that prank on me ONE more time, you will SUFFER! I will cut your face off with my fingernails!"

Kai, despite his large frame and courage, began to scoot behind a couch. "I understand! JUST DON'T HURT ME! AAAAAHHHH!" Kai ran out of the room.

Anna rubbed her eyes and blinked a few times. Then she said "What just happened?"

Ryuta's jaw looked like it was going to fall to the ground. He pulled himself together and said "I think Aoi just sent Kai packing!"

Kai eventually slid back into the room again and said "Is she gone yet?"

Ryuta answered with a simple "No."

Kai then said "Is she calm?"

Ryuta looked at Aoi, who was fidgeting and shaking like she was going to explode and then Ryuta said "Yep."

Kai slowly walked over towards Aoi and said "Are you okay?" Aoi nodded. "Are you feeling better?" Aoi shook her head. "Is there any way to make you feel better?" Aoi nodded again.

Aoi then said "There is one way…" Aoi whispered something to Kai.

Kai responded "NO! NOT THAT! ANYTHING BUT THAT!"

Aoi plucked Kai's hat off of his head and placed it on her own head. She said "Hey, look at me! I'm Kai!" Aoi stomped around the room and yelled "YOU! FIX THAT HOLE IN THE WALL!" Aoi then removed Kai's hat from her head and threw it into the ceiling fan, which shredded the hat in two.

Kai screamed "NO! NOT MY HAT!"

Aoi dug through the box of mail, grabbed what was hers, and left the room, laughing the whole time.

After inspecting his hat and crying a little, Kai began to distribute the mail, letter by letter, until he had one letter left. He said "And this letter says…Congratulations, you have won a free three-month vacation to Florida! If you choose to accept this offer, there are eight plane tickets and 8,000 dollars in American money!" Sincerely, Ouendan benefactor Hawk-e." Kai looked inside the envelope, and gasped. He then reached in and pulled out wads of American bills and eight plane tickets. "Good lord! The money never ends!"

By the time Kai finished emptying the envelope, Sayaka was on her knees, begging Kai. "Oh please, can we go? PLEEEEAAAASE? Pretty please? Pretty please with a rice cake on top?

Kai was annoyed by this but he said "FINE, we'll GO! Just STOP whining! Be packed by Four-Thirty P.M. TOMARROW! We don't want to miss our flight! Oh, I'd better tell Aoi!" Kai ran to Aoi's room and pounded on her door. He yelled "AOI! PREPARE TO BE AMAZED!"

She yelled "What? What do YOU want?"

Kai yelled back "Well, I'm just here to inform you that, wait for it, wait for it…WE WON A VACATION! TO FLORIDA! BE PACKED BY FOUR-THIRTY P.M. TOMARROW!"

Aoi replied "ARE YOU SERIOUS?!? YOU MUST BE… Nah, Kai wouldn't lie about something like that…

The next day…

Kai was yelling at Sayaka. "HURRY UP! WE DON'T WANT TO BE LATE! COME ON, GET ON THE FRIGGIN BUS!"

A few minutes after everyone's stuff was on the bus, Sayaka kept popping up now and then asking "Are we there yet?"

Kai replied "No."

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we there yet?"

Kai couldn't take much more of this. He said "Sayaka, if I hear 'are we there yet' ONE more time, I will personally tie you to the roof of the bus!"

Sayaka pressed her luck. "Are we there yet?"

At this point, Kai snapped, he slammed on the brakes, causing Sayaka to fly out of her seat and hit the windshield. Kai then grabbed her hair, and drug her out of the bus. "I WARNED YOU, SAYAKA!"

Sayaka was screaming bloody murder. "HELP! HE'S HURTING ME! HE'S HURTING ME! OW! MY HAIR! OW! PUT ME DOWN!"

Kai grabbed some rope out of a compartment on the side of the bus, lifted Sayaka off of the ground by her hair, carried her to the top of the bus, and tied her to the roof. He then said "NOW, BE QUIET!"

Sayaka replied "NO! I WON'T BE QUIET!"

"Then you can stay up here then." Kai said as he climbed back into the bus. Once he was in the driver's seat he grabbed the intercom microphone and said "Passengers, please refrain from saying 'are we there yet' or you can join Sayaka on top of the bus." Kai started the bus again.

Aoi, having finally realized what is going on said "Wait, you aren't going to drive with her on TOP of the bus are you?!?"

Kai responded "Yes, I am. AND, I'm going to drive through the woods!" Kai laughed evilly as he stomped on the gas pedal and took a sharp turn.

Meanwhile, from Sayaka's point of view…

She was screaming "HELP! SOMEBODY HELP ME!" A tree branch whacked her in the face. "OW!" Another tree branch scraped at her. "OW! MY ARM! MY FACE!"

After about two miles of forest, Kai drove the bus back onto the normal road. After the fifteen minutes of traffic that they had to wait through, the Ouendan finally arrived at the airport. After all of the stuff was unloaded, Kai untied Sayaka from the top of the bus. She was quite annoyed, not to mention bloody, battered, and bruised. She asked "Kai, why did you do that?"

Kai answered "Because, you were being very irritating and annoying."

After the four hours it took to get through airport security, the Ouendan climbed onto the plane. Ryuta commented "FINALLY! THAT TOOK FOREVER!"

The plane takes off and Sayaka asked "Are we there yet?"

Kai suddenly looked like he was going to jump out of a window, then he yelled "WHEN WILL SHE STOP?"

The plane landed suddenly, and the intercom beeped. The pilot then said "Passengers, please do not exit the plane, we are picking up more passengers."

Saitou seemed quite annoyed at this. "MORE? I thought we were the only ones who won this vacation!" Saitou thought for a second. "Well, whoever they are, they better hurry up! I will not forfeit my vacation for some random idiots!"

A very familiar voice spoke "Who are the random idiots?"

Saitou was suddenly scared out of his mind. "Oh, Karou! I'm sorry, I would have never thought that it would be the BLUE OUENDAN!" Saitou grinned a little.

While Saitou was bickering with Karou, Hayato was arguing with Ryuta. "Ryuta, you still owe me money for that arm wrestling match that you lost. PAY UP!"

Ryuta stared at Hayato like he was a six-headed Satin spawn. "Now I KNOW I paid you for that bet!" Ryuta dug through his pockets and pulled out an American 100 dollar bill. "Since it's pointless to argue with an idiot, here." Ryuta gave Hayato the bill.

"Thank you." Hayato said.

"You're welcome, idiot." Ryuta responded, sharply. Ryuta wrote something down in a small book titled 'Vacation of the Ouendan.'

The intercom beeped, and the pilot said "Passengers, if you check under your seats, you will find a small bomb." Everybody began to panic. "Just kidding. Actually, if you check under your seats, you will find some headphones; feel free to listen to the random tracks on my I-pod."

Honoka, the orange haired cheerleader, quickly found the headphones and put them on her head. "Wow! These are nice!" Everybody quickly copied Honoka, and relaxed until they fell asleep.

Many hours later…

The pilot was bored out of his mind. So he changed the song playing from 'Koi no dance site' by Morning Masume to 'Jumpin' Jack Flash' by the Rolling Stones. Then he cranked up the volume from '10' to '60'. The pilot grinned to himself.

_I was booooorrrrrrrn in a crossfire hurricane…_

Ten seconds later…

Honoka stormed into the cockpit, EXTREMELY angry. "YOU! WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!? I WAS HAVING THE NICEST DREAM!!!"

The pilot grinned and said. "What? I was sick of listening to your snoring. Besides, we're entering America as we speak. Look out the window."

Honoka looked out of the window and gasped. "Ooooh! It's so pretty!"

Back in the passenger cabin…

Rin was talking to herself. "I hope Honoka won't go insane. She gets pretty angry when she is startled.

Honoka ran into the cabin saying "GUYS! LOOK! LOOK OUT THE WINDOW!"

Everybody climbed to the windows and gasped. Aoi then said "Oooh! Pretty lights! Not as pretty as Tokyo, of course."

The plane landed again and the pilot said "Passengers, please do not exit the plane, we're not in Florida yet.

Kai was outraged. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE'RE NOT THERE YET?!?"

The pilot answered "I mean we're not there yet. We're here to refuel and pick up more passengers."

Kai gasped. "MORE PASSENGERS?!? Who are we picking up? The Elite Beat Ag-"

Sayaka cut Kai off and said "DON'T SAY IT!"

Suzuki gasped and said "Too late…" Suzuki pointed at Agent J, who was walking through the door at the time.

J said "What's too late, Mohawk-Man?" J smirked.

Sayaka began crying at the sight of Agent J. She then screamed "KAI! YOU'VE RUINED OUR VACATION! Now I'll have to talk to that Starr girl the WHOLE time!"

Rin walked over to Sayaka and said "Do you know this lady?" She held up a limp Starr with a dart sticking out of her back.

Sayaka gasped and said "What did you do to her Rin?"

Rin responded "I didn't do anything. There was this guy with a HUGE red afro. He dragged her on the plane by her hair." Rin threw Starr onto Sayaka, causing Sayaka to scream. Rin laughed and said "My GOD Sayaka, she's not DEAD!"

Sayaka said "That's the PROBLEM. The problem is that she's NOT dead. She's very alive."

Rin said "You really DO hate her don't you?"

Sayaka responded "No, Rin. I'm madly in love with her. YES I HATE HER! I hate her whole personality. She always smiles. Look at her now!" Sayaka held Starr up, revealing that Starr is still smiling.

Rin said back "Aoi always smiles, Honoka always smiles."

Sayaka thought for a minute "Well, they're the most enthusiastic girls I've ever seen. Starr is different, she's not enthusiastic, she's just stupid."

Rin said "Good point, Sayaka."

Starr began to open her eyes. She groaned for a moment then asked herself "Where, where am I? I feel like I'm on a plane…" Starr noticed Sayaka, who was cowering behind a chair, apparently trying to avoid her. Starr slid next to Sayaka and yelled, in her ear "HI SAYAKA! HOW ARE YOU? I'M GREAT! DO YOU HAVE ANY SODA? ARE WE ON A PLANE? CAN YOU HELP ME WITH MY MATH HOMEWORK?"

Sayaka, after having a panic attack, responded to Starr's questions and statements "Go away. Fine, until you showed up. I don't care. Not for you. Jump out of the window and find out. What? Math homework?"

Starr laughed at Sayaka. Then she said "No, silly! I was just kidding about the math homework."

Sayaka grabbed Starr's ear and whispered to her "Listen here, Starr. I don't want to hear ONE word out of you for the next five minutes. GOT IT?!?" Sayaka whispered something in Japanese.

Starr nodded and said "Got it, Sayaka."

Sayaka grinned. "Good, Starr. Wait, what are you doing?" Starr was kneeling on the ground, groaning. Then she passed out. Sayaka looked at Starr's back and realized that somebody shot her with a tranquillizer dart. Sayaka then said "Whoever did that, I will reward them fifty dollars and a kiss.

Foxx backed away with a tranquilizer gun in her hands, she handed it to Missy. Foxx then said "Congratulations, Missy. You get a not so shiny, not so new tranquilizer gun! Merry Christmas!

Meanwhile, in outer space…

An alien whispered to himself "Everything is going according to plan, initiate phase two." The alien smirked. "By vacation's end, those Elite Beat Agents will be no more. And I can take out the Ouendan and Bluendan in one shot! It's like killing three birds with one stone! HAHAHAHAHA!" The alien managed to stop laughing. "DEPLOY THE FLEET!"

Back on the plane…

The divas had surrounded Ryuta and Hayato, they had started asking them questions like "Are you single?" or "Do you think I'm cute?" or even "Will you marry me?"

Finally, Ryuta got sick of the girl's constant questions and yelled "I don't even know your names! I'm NOT single, don't ask ME if you're cute, and I'm not marrying you!"

Starr said "Ohhhhh! He wants to know our NAMES!" Starr blushed. "I'm Starr, this old woman is-" Foxx slapped Starr. "Foxx. And this nerdy girl is-" Missy slapped Starr. "Missy." Starr clutched her face.

Missy asked Ryuta "So… Who's your girlfriend?" Missy got an evil look on her face.

Ryuta pointed to Sayaka and said "Her…"

Missy pulled a switchblade out of her pocket and charged at Sayaka. She yelled "She's your girlfriend no longer!!!"

Ryuta gasped and yelled "SAYAKA! LOOK OUT!"

Sayaka squealed and jumped out of the way. "Who is THIS crazy girl?"

Ryuta grabbed Missy's hair, tackled her, and swiped the switchblade. "See, Sayaka? She was going to stab you with a-" Ryuta flipped the switchblade open, revealing a comb. "Comb…"

Missy stood up and said "YES, that's right folks! A switchblade kni- er, comb. She had a very unsightly knot in the back of her hair and I was going to st- er, comb it out. Yeah, that's it!" Missy grinned innocently. "OKAY, I WAS GOING TO KILL HER! HAPPY?!?"

Ryuta gasped again and said "NO I'M NOT HAPPY! You tried to kill my ex-girlfriend!"

Missy gave Ryuta a weird look and said "Your EX-girlfriend?"

Ryuta responded "Yes, Sayaka is my EX girlfriend."

Missy shrieked "You COULD have noted this a LITTLE earlier!"

Hayato laughed and said "Well I know who's NOT going to be MY girlfriend!"

Missy suddenly turned as white as a freshly laundered sheet, and then she whined for a bit. She said "NO! I'M SORRY! I WAS JUST KIDDING!"

Sayaka thought for a second and asked "My question is…how were you going to stab me with a comb?"

Missy replied "There are two switches on the switchblade, one is a comb, and the other is a VERY SHARP knife. Be careful, even though I don't like you."

Sayaka flipped the knife open and said "That looks pretty sharp!" Sayaka plucked one of her own hairs off of her head and brushed it against the knife. The hair cut right in half. "Yikes."

Missy asked Sayaka "Can I have it back now?"

Sayaka looked shocked. "NO YOU CAN'T HAVE IT! You might try to kill something else, or someone."

Missy asked "Why would I do that?"

Sayaka took a deep breath. "I don't know, but I think you just might." Sayaka gave the knife to Ryuta, who gave it to Hayato, who passed it to Derek, who pocketed it.

Aoi said "Well, at least it's in the hands of a big strong agent!" Aoi hugged Derek for no reason. Shinta, who was nearby, went as white as a sheet.

As soon as Aoi squeezed him, Derek pushed her away and said "I'm not interested in a pink haired Japanese girl. Go back to your girly looking boyfriend." Aoi was shocked.

Missy walked over, yelling. "Gimme the knife Derek!"

Derek threw the knife to Spin yelling "Catch, Spin!"

Spin caught the knife and Missy ran over to him. "SPIN, GIVE ME THE KNIFE!"

Spin yelled to J and threw the knife. "Catch, J!"

J caught it and struck a pose, not noticing an angry Missy behind him "Got it!"

Morris yelled to J "Look out, dawg!" J ignored him "J! LOOK-" Missy conked J on the head and took the switchblade. "Out…"

Suddenly a stern voice boomed "Give me the knife, Missy."

Missy turned around to a very pissed Kahn. "Awwww… But KA-"

Kahn interrupted Missy "Missy, we've talked about not chasing people with knives." Kahn pointed to the cross shaped scar on his forehead. "Remember what happened LAST time?"

Missy mumbled "Yes, sir…" She gave Kahn the switchblade comb/knife thing.

Kahn, to Missy's horror and disbelief, began dismantling the knife, removing the blade in the process. He then put everything BUT the knife back together and handed it back to Missy, then Kahn said "There, now you can have your switchblade comb, but not hurt anyone." Kahn ruffled Missy's hair. "Comb your hair, and be happy that I gave any part of that thing back to you."

Missy began combing her hair and said "Thanks, Kahn. You're the best at making your co-workers happy."

Suddenly, the plane shook and everybody started screaming. The intercom beeped and the pilot yelled "HELP! WE'RE UNDER ATACK! MAYDAY! MAYDAY!"

The windows shattered as people, or whatever they were, in strange armor climbed through them. One of the things said "We are the Rhombulans, we are back to finish what we started with the Elite Beat Agents. The Rhombulan commander also noted an Ouendan that we should destroy as well. That is all."

Aoi started chewing out the Rhombulan who was speaking. "I DON'T CARE WHO YOU ARE! YOU'RE RUINING MY VACATION! SO GET OFF OF- ACK!" Aoi screamed in pain as a purplish lightning bolt struck her. "OW! HELP!" Aoi looked at her arm, which had started turning to stone. "OH MY GOD! HELP! I'M TURNING INTO A STATUE! HELP ME SHIN-" Aoi was cut off, as the rest of her body had completely turned to stone.

Shinta dashed at the Rhombulan, but was quickly shot. "AOI! IF YOU CAN HEAR ME, I'M SOR-" Shinta was cut off.

J started screaming. "NO!" J rushed at the Rhombulan and started beating the tar out of him. "YOU MONSTER! YOU ARE SO ANNOYING! GO THE HELL AWAY! GET OFF OF EARTH! YOU PEOPLE ARE SO HEARTLESS THAT YOU WILL SHOOT A GIRL AND HER BOYFRIEND THAT LOOKS LIKE A GIRL! YOU MUST DIE!" The Rhombulans started firing in random directions, trying to hit everybody.

Thirty seconds later…

J had knocked out all of the Rhombulans. He carried them to the windows and pushed them out. "NOW GET OFF OF OUR PLANE AND OUT OF MY LIFE!" J turned around and said "Oh shit." J realized that everybody but himself and the pilot had been shot. J tapped on Starr's head. "Crap, they really ARE… STONED!" J laughed for a moment. Then he pulled out an ordinary looking whistle. He played a little tune and there was a cracking sound. He looked over at Anna, who was slowly crumbling to reveal the REAL Anna, under the rock. J yelled to her "Hey! Hottie! You missed the show!"

J, however, did not notice Starr. Behind him. Looking quite pissed. Starr slapped J across the face. "Do something useful, patch those windows."

End of chapter One.

Tune in soon for chapter Two: Final Destination.

Jhonic.

Please comment and review.

Aoi said she would slap me if I didn't get a review on this story.


	2. Chapter Two: Final Destination

**Chapter Two: Final Destination**

In the last chapter, the Ouendan, Bluendan, and Elite Beat Agents won a free vacation. The Rhombulans attacked, and J probably saved us all. Let's take a look at what's going on now…

J grabbed Anna's arm and said "Kiss me blondie!"

Anna responded with a slap and said "NO! I'M NOT KISSING YOU!"

J had been trying to persuade all of the girls to kiss him for the last hour. So far he had received no kisses and nine slaps. "But I saved your life! COME ON!"

Anna was tired of J's antics. "I'm tired of your antics!" Anna grabbed Starr out of her seat and threw her onto J. "Kiss HER, she's your girlfriend."

J responded "But you have a bigger rack!" Starr slapped him again. "STARR! STOP SLAPPING ME!"

The intercom beeped and the pilot said "Passengers, we are now landing at our final destination: Jacksonville, Florida."

Kai suddenly jumped up and said "FINALLY!"

The pilot continued talking and said "You will now have to deal with the ten hour hassle of airport security."

Kai suddenly fell to the floor. Then he shouted "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! GOD DAMNIT! I **KNEW** IT!" Kai started spitting and throwing things.

Sayaka ducked under a flying toaster and said "Calm down, Kai! Don't kill somebody! Have a pill or something!" Sayaka held up a bottle of sleeping pills.

Kai looked at Sayaka and said "But I don't NEED a pill! I just hate airline security!"

Starr chimed in "Don't we all?"

Kai and Sayaka both said in unison "Shut up blondie."

Starr snapped at them "DON'T CALL ME BLONDIE!"

After the _**TWELVE**_ hours that it took to get through airline security…

Karou (Kiryuin) said "Good god, I thought those people would NEVER finish checking Aoi's luggage!"

Aoi snapped at Karou "HEY, I'M A GIRL! GIVE ME A BREAK! IT WASN'T THE MOST PLEASANT EXPERIENCE FOR ME EITHER! YOU THINK **I **WANT PEOPLE DIGGING THROUGH MY UNDERWEAR LOOKING FOR BOMBS?!?"

Suddenly and unknown voice spoke "Ah, the guests have arrived, it's about time."

Kai, Karou, and Chieftain whipped around to see the mysterious person speaking to the group. Kai was the first to speak. "WHO'S THERE?"

The person responded quickly, for the sake of his life. "Allow me to introduce myself, I am Hawke. I am the one who sent you the free money and plane tickets. I am the reason for your vacation and I-"

Aoi interrupted Hawke and said "Funny, you don't LOOK like the guy in _Famicom Wars DS_."

Hawke responded "I just stole the name."

Aoi stood there and looked at Hawke. Then she said "So, where's your car?" Hawke pointed to the right of himself. Aoi looked and said "Uh…That's a school bus."

Hawke laughed and said "What are you, stupid? I parked _next _to the school bus."

Aoi looked again and said "OH! A limo! That's different!"

After everyone piles into the rather small limo…

Sayaka was complaining…AGAIN. "THIS CAR IS TOO SMALL!" She was complaining because her face was pressed against Aoi's. "I'm sure we look like a couple of lesbians."

Aoi was annoyed by this as well, she said back to Sayaka "Sayaka…EAT A BREATH MINT! YOUR BREATH SMELLS HORRIBLE! WHAT DID YOU EAT FOR LUNCH?!? TEN WHOLE CLOVES OF GARLIC OR SOMETHING?!? Your breath smells like… well… I'd say it but Anna won't let me!"

Anna leaned closer to Aoi and said "Once again, let me note that us Ouendan must not cuss as much as possible, or risk offending somebody, which would be bad."

Reika was tired of everyone's bickering. "WILL YOU ALL SHUT UP?!? I'M TRYING TO READ THIS PAMPHLET!"

Starr grabbed a peanut out of her rather large bag of assorted nuts and threw it at Reika. "YOU SHUT UP!"

Honoka grabbed a jellybean out of a bag attached to her skirt (Next to her stuffed bunny.) and threw it back at Starr. "You shut up!" Honoka was suddenly hit in the back of the head with a bag of M&Ms, which ripped on contact, spilling the small chocolates all over Honoka, Reika, Rin, and Karou.

Spin started laughing as soon as the M&Ms ripped. Then he said "Sorry, dawgs! I was aiming for hothead over there!" Spin pointed to Ryuta, who was one seat ahead of the accidental targets.

Ryuta grumbled to himself "Those damn blue Ouendan are disgracing the whole country of Japan."

Hawke suddenly yelled "WHY DON'T WE ALL SHUT UP?!? I'M TRYING TO AVOID DRIVING INTO-"

Honoka cut Hawke off, screaming "A BRICK WALL!"

Hawke replied to Honoka "Wow, are you psychic or something?"

Honoka panicked and yelled "NO, you're ABOUT TO DRIVE INTO A BRICK WALL! FOCUS ON THE ROAD!" Honoka pointed at a brick wall about twenty feet from the car.

Hawke turned around and saw the brick wall. "AAAAAAHHHHH! PREPARE FOR G-FORCE TURN!" Hawke turned the steering wheel so hard that the car ended up doing a five-hundred-forty degree barrel roll, and landed upside down. "WOOOOOOO! TEN-POINT LANDING!" Hawke turned around. "Is everybody okay?"

Kahn yelled from the very back "Yes, we only are covered with jellybeans and glass." Kahn shot a menacing glare at Honoka, who had gotten cut during the crash.

Foxx suddenly piped up "I think that if we all lean in one direction really hard, then the other, than back again, we might be able to tip the car onto the right side or at least onto its side. Piece of cake!"

Aoi pointed outside and said "Kai, Karou and one of your big strong agents have it!"

At the sound of Aoi saying "Big strong agent" Shinta exploded. He started yelling and throwing jellybeans and glass around, but everybody ignored him.

The car suddenly was flipped onto its side, then it tipped and fell onto the correct side. Everybody cheered.

Inside Hawke's rather elaborate estate…

Missy was shocked by the size of the living room. "THIS PLACE IS HUGE!" Missy thought for a second. "Hey, Hawke!"

Hawke turned around and said "What, Missy?"

Missy asked "Do I have to share a room with anybody?"

Hawke replied "No, Missy."

Missy walked over to Khan and said "Good, you have more of a brain than our commander!" Missy grabbed Kahn's hair and plucked it off of his head. "Instead of a brain, the commander got a toupe" Missy laughed as she played "keep away" with Kahn's "hair".

Kahn finally grabbed his "hair" and said "THIS is why I have everybody sign the EBA 'Official Malicious Government secrets contract' or O.M.G." Everybody laughed. "No, I'm serious." Kahn placed his "hair" on his head. Everybody laughed again.

Hawke grabbed an airhorn, stood next to Aoi, and blew it right in her ear, causing her to scream louder and in a higher pitch than the airhorn. Everybody looked at Aoi, who was trying to steal the airhorn from Hawke. "GIVE ME THAT FRIGGIN AIRHORN BEFORE I STOMP YOUR FRIGGIN FACE IN!

Hawke pushed Aoi away and said "Thank you, Aoi." Aoi stopped scratching at him for a second. "You got everyone's attention. Thank you. Now that I have everyone's attention, I want to tell you that you can tune your rooms to your EXACT liking. Just ask me. I can paint the walls, change the carpets, whatever. Just ask **ME **to do it. NOT your next door neighbor, NOT your best friend, NOT God, NOT Satin, just ask ME! IT'S VERY SIMPLE! Any questions?"

Honoka jumped up, waved her hand in the air and said "OOOH! ME! ME! PICK ME! I HAVE A QUESTION!"

Hawke asked "Question!"

Honoka asked "Can you help me carry my stuff?" Honoka held one of her five suitcases up.

Hawke answered "Yes! I will help you carry your stuff. Any more questions?" Aoi raised her hand. "That aren't about me helping you carry stuff?"

Aoi put her hand back down and yelled "HEY! THAT'S NOT FAIR! YOUR'E HELPING HER!" Aoi pointed to her six suitcases. "WHY WON'T YOU HELP ME? HUH?"

Anna slapped Aoi upside her head. "Aoi, be happy you're here at all."

Hawke pushed a cart out of a nearby closet "Everybody put your suitcases in here!" Everybody smiled and did so. "You will hear a gong when lunch is going to be served. The dining room is right through there." Hawke pointed to a rather large door.

Two hours later, a gong echoes throughout the house. By the time Hawke comes out of the kitchen with **menus**, everyone was sitting at the table. Hawke was impressed. "How did you get here so fast?!?"

Kai answered for all of them. "What? We're HUNGRY!" Hawke passed out the menus and Kai looked at his. "What is this place, a house…or a fancy restaurant?"

Hawke answered Kai's question. "The only thing that's notably fancy around here is the fact that I have ten chefs working here."

Sugita cut in, asking "What's this guy going to have next, an all-you-can-eat sushi buffet?" Sugita laughed.

Hawke answered "Sugita, if you actually took the time to _look _at the menu, you would see that we'll have an all-you-can-eat sushi and seafood buffet on Sundays."

As Hawke said that, many people fell out of their chairs. Shinta sat up and yelled "WHAAAAAAAT?!? HOLY CRAP, WHAT DAY IS IT?!?"

Hawke smiled and said "Saturday."

Shinta's eyes lit up like neon. "REALLY?!?"

Hawke stopped smiling and said "No. It's Monday."

Shinta suddenly fell onto the ground again and yelled "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Hawke laughed and said "Sorry, man. But I'm not bending the schedule just for you. Sorry. The sushi and seafood chefs only wanted to work once a week."

After everybody ordered, got their food, and ate it, Hawke paid the chefs for their fine cooking. He then said "Good day gentlemen, and lady. See you on Friday."

On his way to the living room (Or whatever it's called.) Hawke passed Shinta in the hall. He didn't notice it was Shinta and said "Sayaka, you don't look good in pants. Wear skirts. Change your clothes back the way they were."

Shinta was disgusted. He yelled "WHAT DID YOU SAY?!?"

Hawke turned around at the sound of a male voice. He realized it was Shinta and said "OH! Shinta! Dude, I'm sorry, oh man, oh man. Sorry. You look a lot like her!"

Shinta punched Hawke in the gut. "I LOOK LIKE HER?!? ARE YOU_**BLIND**_?"

Hawke recovered and said "DUDE! I SAID I WAS SORRY!" Hawke realized that Shinta was nowhere in sight. Then a door slammed, Hawke looked at the door, which read "Sayaka." Hawke yelled through the door "OOH! SAYAKA'S GOING TO KILL YOU MAN!" Hawke walked away and grabbed his camera.

Five Minutes Later…

Shinta burst through the door with Sayaka's clothes on. "Hey, what do you think?"

Hawke snickered at Shinta's new apparel. "I think…You look stupid." Hawke snapped a photo. "Hey, let's see if anyone recognizes you! Try and imitate Sayaka's voice!"

Shinta took a breath and spoke in a very high voice. "_This car is too small!" _

Hawke laughed and said "That's **PERFECT**!"

At the entrance to the living room, Hawke looked for Sayaka. "She's not here, GO!" He pushed Shinta out into the room.

Shinta yelled "HEY! Don't push me, I'm a girl!" Hawke snickered at Shinta.

"Sayaka" walked towards the couch and sat between Ryuta and Kai. Kai grabbed "Sayaka", unaware that it was Shinta and said "Gimme a kiss Sayaka!" Kai grabbed Shinta and kissed him.

Ryuta gave Kai a weird look and said "Uh…Kai…" Kai waved him off. "Uh, Kai, _look _at what you're kissing!" Kai ignored him again, "KAI!"

Kai stopped kissing Shinta and said "WHAT?!? Can't a guy get a kiss without getting yelled at?!?"

Ryuta gave Kai ANOTHER weird look and said "YOU WERE KISSING _**SHINTA!**_"

Kai sat there for a moment. Then he said "What are you…" His sentence trailed off as he looked at Shinta's face for the first time.

Shinta looked at Ryuta and said "Thank you, Ryuta." He looked back at Kai and half-waved.

Ten seconds later…

**"AAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!"**

Kai began yelling, spitting and wiping his lips on his sleeve.

At the sane time, Shinta was enduring a painful slap-fest from Aoi, who saw the whole thing. "Aoi! Ow! What are! Ow! You! Ow! DOING?!? Ow!"

Aoi answered him with a loud scream and more slapping. "You are the WORST boyfriend **EVER!** You don't ever return my phone calls, you never take me out to dinner, you didn't buy me a birthday present, you won't give me a kiss, and NOW I find you in my friend's clothing, kissing KAI! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?"

Shinta managed to get four words out in that time "I'M SORRY! OW! STOP!"

Aoi went crazy. "WHY SHOULD I STOP SLAPPING AN UNGRATEFUL, CLOTHES-STEALING, UN-LOVING, CHEATING, GAY, BOYFRIEND?!? I HATE YOU! I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!" Aoi ran out of the room, crying her eyes out.

Aoi ran past Anna and Sayaka, Sayaka was surprised by Aoi's crying. "AOI! WAIT!"

Aoi ran into her room, and closed and locked her door. Anna ran up and pounded on the door. "OPEN THIS DOOR!"

Aoi yelled back "NO!"

Anna pounded harder. "AOI! YOU HAVE **THREE **SECONDS TO OPEN THIS DOOR BEFORE I BASH IT IN!"

Aoi repeated herself. "NO!"

Anna stepped back "Onnnneee…"

Sayaka interrupted Anna. "Anna, don't…"

Anna pulled her fist back. "Twooooooooo…"

Sayaka pleaded with her again "ANNA!"

Anna yelled "THREE!" She ran forward and punched a hole in the door. She unlocked it from the inside. "I may sound like your mother when I say this but, YOU'RE IN BIG TROUBLE NOW, YOUNG LADY!!!"

Aoi was sitting in the corner saying "No…no…no…no…"

Anna lifted Aoi off of the ground by her arm. "You're going to get a pay cut for this!"

Sayaka glared at Anna. "Anna, before you make her even _less _happy, maybe you should ask what was wrong in the _**FIRST**_ place?!?"

Aoi wrenched her arm out of Anna's grasp and said in a rather soft voice "What…was…wrong, Sayaka? WHAT WAS WRONG?!? I'LL TELL YOU WHAT'S WRONG!!!" Aoi took a deep breath.

Anna gave Aoi a weird look. "There was actually something wrong?" Anna grabbed a bucket from somewhere.

Aoi began to weep and sob. "Well, I-I was walking into the living room when I saw the most disturbing thing in my life!"

Anna suddenly looked up from the bucket, half full of Aoi's tears. "What was it?"

"It was Kai, kissing what _looked _like Sayaka. But it WASN'T Sayaka! BUT, not only was it _not _Sayaka, it wasn't even a **GIRL**!" Anna and Sayaka gasped. "It was…my boyfriend! IN SAYAKA'S CLOTHING!"

Sayaka screamed. "WHAAAAAT?!? So, wait, not _ONLY _was Kai tricked into kissing someone _ELSE, _butit was a GUY trying to cheat on my friend by LOOKING LIKE _**ME!**_"

Aoi continued. "So, anyways, I start going crazy, slapping and yelling and screaming, and he has the NERVE to tell me to STOP!"

Suddenly, there was a loud banging on the door. "AOI! I'M SORRY! I CAN EXPLAIN!"

Anna walked over to the door and yelled "Oh, AND _**NOW **_YOU'RE TRYING TO CRAWL BACK TO HER AND TRY TO WIN HER HEART BACK!"

Anna ripped the door off of its hinges and threw it aside, then she grabbed Shinta, who was screaming like a little girl. "AAAAAIIIIIIIIEEEEE! DON'T KILL ME, ANNA!"

"HE'S **STILL **WEARING YOUR CLOTHES, SAYAKA!" Anna pulled him into the room by his hair. "Do you want to kill him, Aoi?" Aoi pulled a black Sharpie out of her pocket and a pair of scissors off of a table. "What ARE you doing?"

"I'm going to snip all of his hair off, and write stuff on his forehead. IN SHARPIE!"

Shinta covered his hair. "AOI! I'LL DO **ANYTHING! **Just don't cut my hair! PLEASE!"

Aoi suddenly stopped snipping the scissors for a second. "ANYTHING?"

Shinta started squirming in Anna's arms. "YES! ANYTHING!"

Aoi looked at Anna. "Drop him." Anna dropped Shinta on his head. "Okay, here are my demands. ONE, you give Sayaka's clothes back. TWO, you will write me a five page apology letter. THREE, you will fix that hole in the door, and put it back on its hinges. FOUR, you will convince Anna to take that pay cut back. And finally, I want you to give me a kiss. If you REALLY are my boyfriend, you will. If you do all of those things, I'll forgive you."

Shinta stood up. "FINE! I'll do it!" He looked at Anna with 'Bambi Eyes.'

Anna glared at him and said. "Fine, because you're just too pathetic. However, YOU OWE ME BIG TIME!"

"Thank you, Anna." Shinta began to leave.

Aoi yelled "Shinta, WAIT!"

Shinta turned around. "What is it, Aoi?"

"I…I…I want you… to pick up a box of cookies for me!" Aoi blushed and smiled. She whispered to herself "Oh, Aoi, why can't you get it right?!?"

Shinta laughed. "I'll see if I can, Aoi."

"Thank you." Aoi thought for a second. "But give Sayaka's clothes back first." Sayaka walked out after Shinta.

End of chapter Two.

Tune in soon for chapter Three: Pool Parties and Utter Chaos.

Jhonic.

**Please** comment and review.

Thanks for your comments, Aoi slapped me. Now Anna says she'll slap me too.


	3. Chapter Three: Pool Parties & Chaos

**Chapter Three: Pool Parties and Utter Chaos**

In the last chapter, our favorite group of people finally reached their destination, Jacksonville, Florida, they ate lunch, Hawke managed to piss Shinta off, who dressed in Sayaka's clothing, got kissed by KAI, and pissed Aoi off, who went on a rampage. Let's see what chaos is going on now…

"THERE! HAPPY NOW?" Shinta looked up from the door, which he had been fixing. "AOI! I FIXED IT!"

Aoi looked up from a book. "Good, now all you have to do is kiss me!"

Shinta said "Uh…Um…, how about you kiss me first?"

Aoi gave Shinta a sort of glare. "Oh, fine." Aoi walked next to him and planted a kiss on his cheek.

As soon as Aoi's lips touched his cheek, Shinta's face went as red as a rose. He ended up grabbing Aoi and kissing her for a good five seconds. "Aoi, thanks for giving me a second chance."

"Shinta, you're very welcome, Shinta." Aoi squeezed her lover.

Suddenly, Anna came running down the hall like a bullet, she tackled Shinta and pushed Aoi away. "AOI, where did he touch you? What clothing was he trying to remove from you?"

Shinta was shocked. "WHAT? Are you freaking INSANE? I was just giving her a HUG! Is ANYTHING wrong with that?"

Aoi started tugging at Anna's hair. "LET GO OF HIM! HE WAS JUST GIVING ME A HUG!"

Anna was choking Shinta. "YOU WERE TRYING TO RAPE HER! ADMIT IT!"

Shinta somehow managed to slip out of Anna's hands. "Anna! YOU'RE INSANE IF YOU THINK I'M GOING TO RAPE HER!"

Anna grabbed Shinta's neck again. She whispered to him, "I **swear, **Shinta, if you touch her anywhere I don't want you to, I will **personally **separate you, **permanently!** UNDERSTAND??"

Shinta let out a whimper. "I understand!"

Anna leaned down next to Shinta and whispered something to him. Then she dropped him to the ground. "GOT IT? NOWHERE BUT HER HANDS! Understand? If you do, I WILL find out about it!"

"I understand! Just don't keep me away from my darling Aoi!" Anna finally left. Shinta ran up to Aoi. "Aoi, did you hear her? She said I can only touch your hands… nowhere else!"

"Wh-wh-WHAT?!" Aoi began to sniffle a little, soon, she started crying.

Shinta gasped. "No! Aoi, please don't cry! I really hate to see you cry…" Shinta began petting Aoi's head, bracing himself for when Anna comes back. "Don't worry, Aoi, it will be alright…"

Thirty-eight seconds later…

Anna came back, she slapped Shinta. "YOU'VE DONE IT NOW, BUCKO! WHY IS SHE CRYING?!"

Shinta yelled at her. "YOU'RE THE ONE WHO MADE HER CRY!"

Anna was shocked. "WHAT DID I DO?!"

Shinta was enraged. "WHY DON'T YOU ASK HER?!"

"FINE! I WILL!" Anna knelt down next to Aoi, who was on the floor, still bawling. "Aoi…What's wrong, Aoi?"

Aoi looked up at Anna. "Anna, I'll tell you what's wrong…YOU'RE WHAT'S WRONG! You don't want Shinta around me at all! You're threatening him with pain and separation from me if he touches me! I'm sick of your demands and threats to him! AND I'M SICK OF YOU! I WANT YOU TO GO DIE IN A HOLE!"

Anna gasped. "You…you…you want me to die?"

Aoi yelled in Anna's ear. "YES! I'M SICK OF YOU! GET OUT OF MY LIFE!"

Anna took a deep breath. "Is there a way to make this better?"

Aoi snorted. "YES! You can take back what you said about Shinta!"

Anna opened her mouth, then closed it again. "Okay. I take back everything I said. Shinta isn't a rapist, and I will allow him to touch you anywhere, and anytime."

Aoi slapped Anna. "AND DON"T DO I T AGAIN!" Aoi pulled Anna closer to her. "OR I'll tell Hayato your 'little secret.' GOT IT?!"

Anna clutched her face and stood up. "YES! JUST DON'T TELL HAYATO! PLEASE!" Anna ran off to her room.

Shinta walked over and asked "So, Aoi, what is Anna's 'little secret?'"

Aoi giggled. "I can't tell you. But if Hayato knew…"

Shinta stood there looking at her for a moment. "Are…are you blackmailing her?"

Aoi turned her head to where she was looking at Shinta sideways as she said, "Maybe."

"So, you are." Shinta laughed.

"Yep. I made her fluff my pillow before I fell asleep last night. AND made her get me a piece of cake and watch me eat it." Aoi laughed.

"Wow. Can you make her do stuff for me?" Shinta smiled.

"Yes. But first…" Aoi grabbed Shinta and squeezed him.

Suddenly, a sharp arrow caught Shinta in the chest. He collapsed onto the ground. "A-Aoi! Run! Hu-hurry!" His head hit the floor.

Aoi began to run around in circles, screaming. "OH MY GOD, HE'S DEAD! AIEEEEEEEEE!"

The whole house heard Aoi's screams. They all came running, but as soon as Kai walked in, the whole crowd froze. Kai grabbed Aoi. "Calm down, Aoi." He looked at Shinta. "Get up. I see right through your act, and I sense your burning spirit." Shinta remained motionless."

Aoi slid out of Kai's arms. She walked over to Shinta and bent down. She started tickling him. "Tickle, tickle, tickle!"

Soon, Shinta couldn't keep his cool and started laughing. He finally stood up and said, "Missy, our jig's up!"

Missy suddenly dropped from the ceiling, holding a NERF gun. "So what did you think? Funny trick huh?"

Aoi exploded. "**YOU!** YOU FREAKING STUPID LITTLE-"

Missy interrupted her. "Oh waah! Are you going to cry? Huh? You going to cry? What a little whiny bitch! It's a JOKE!"

Aoi chased Missy out of the room "GET OUT OF MY ROOM BEFORE I USE SOMETHING MORE DEADLY THAN A NERF GUN ON YOU!!" Missy quickly got out of Aoi's sight. "Where'd she go? Where'd she go?"

Starr tapped Aoi's shoulder. "Hey, we're going to play volleyball in the pool out back, and we'd like to know if you wanted to play."

Aoi removed Starr's hand from her shoulder. "Who's going to be there?"

"Everyone, including your gi- er, I mean BOYfriend." Starr grinned.

"I'll be there!" Aoi dashed back into her room and pushed everybody else out. She slammed the door.

Shinta looked at everyone else and grinned. He waited twenty seconds, then opened the door. "Hey, Aoi! What's up?"

Aoi screamed and threw a glass at him. "OUT! GET OUT! I'M STARK NAKED!"

Shinta ducked out the door, after the glass caught him square in the nose. "Ouch. Sheesh, I'm her boyfriend, but she won't let me see her naked."

Aoi soon walked out, clad in a skimpy green bikini, blushing. "We've only been together for five months Shinta! Just wait another month! One more month! That's it!"

Shinta scratched his head. He ran off. "Sheesh, that's what she said two months ago."

Aoi started to run towards the area where the signs that pointed out where crap was. She slipped and ended up sliding on the tile floor on her stomach. She squealed, "Whee!" Aoi quickly gained momentum and slid onto some carpet, even then, she slid about ten feet. She soon acquired an extremely painful carpet burn. She rolled onto her back once she stopped sliding. She touched her stomach and shrieked at the amount of pain it caused her. "OWWWW! IT STIIIIIIIIIIIIIINGS!"

Starr came running after hearing Aoi's screaming. She got to Aoi and leaned down in front of her. "Are you okay?" Starr gasped at Aoi's stomach, which was as red as Rin's cheering uniform. "Carpet burn, huh?" Aoi nodded. "The next time you want to play 'Slip 'n' Slide' on the tile, wear a one-piece swimsuit." Starr grabbed Aoi's arm and pulled her up. She dragged her out to the pool area.

Aoi looked up at the forty-foot diving board. "Wow…Cool!" Aoi started to walk over to the diving board but Starr grabbed Aoi's suit.

"No, Aoi. You're how old?" Starr turned Aoi around to see her.

Aoi blinked. "Twenty…"

"Oh, you can't use this pool then." Starr then motioned to a sign that read 'All those under twenty-one years of age must use the kiddie pool. (Unless otherwise permitted.)' Starr then motioned to an inflatable pool containing Honoka, Hajime, and Shinta. "You will use that pool."

Aoi gasped. "What? That doesn't make sense!"

Starr waved her finger in Aoi's face. "Signs are meant to be listened to, Aoi."

"Well…Why are Hajime and Shinta there? They're both twenty-one!" Aoi pointed to them.

Starr giggled. "To supervise you, silly!" Starr patted Aoi's head.

Aoi glared at Starr, and then at the sign. Finally, after about thirty seconds, she said one word. "Fine." Aoi walked over to the 'kiddie' pool and sat in it. She realized the water was rather warm. "Okay, why is this water so warm?"

Hajime laughed. "Because we're on top of a hot spring."

Aoi blinked. "No way! Hawke owns a HOT SPRING?"

Shinta wrapped his arm around Aoi. "Uh, duh. He's filthy-stinking rich! Now give me a kiss!" Hajime and Honoka watched the two kiss for a moment.

Honoka thought about her boyfriend. "Why isn't OUR relationship like that?"

Hajime turned bright red. "Well- uh, because- uh, because I didn't- uh, because I didn't know you wanted a relationship like that. I didn't know we even had a relationship."

Honoka looked at him. "What? I don't like you; I was talking about my boyfriend, Sugita. DUH, Hajime!"

Aoi giggled. "You two would make a cute couple, though!" Honoka's face went as red as Hajime's.

Honoka sat up for a moment. She said, "I remember something! The sign said, in very small print that 'those who can jump off of the diving board can swim in the big pool!"

Shinta grabbed Aoi's arm and dragged her towards the diving board. He hoisted her onto his back and carried her up the ladder. "Don't look down, Aoi."

They eventually got to the top. Shinta set Aoi onto the diving board. Aoi looked up at him. "I'm scared. I can't do this!"

Shinta looked down at her. "Don't be scared, Aoi. Remember that whatever happens, I'll be cheering you on! I will always care what happens, and I will hope, and help, for the best outcome."

Aoi stood up and blushed. "Well, alright. I'll dive." Aoi held a diving stance for a moment, and then dove. She screamed as she fell, but she shut her mouth before impacting the water. She soon surfaced. She was ecstatic. "WHOO! That was fun!"

Shinta yelled from the top of the diving board. "MOVE! I WANNA TRY TOO!" Aoi moved and he dove into the water.

Honoka soon followed, however, as soon as she hit the water, there was a pop, and she sank about twenty feet into the water, she surfaced after a minute and a half, but she was not moving. Aoi swam over and poked her. She tickled Honoka. "She **drowned**! Get a doctor! Somebody get a doctor! Or get someone that knows C.P.R.!"

All of the agents looked at Starr. Starr glared at them. "Fine. I'll give her C.P.R.. BUT I am still NOT a lesbian!" Starr swam over to Honoka, grabbed her, swam her over to the edge of the pool, and started performing C.P.R. on Honoka.

J shouted from across the pool, "STARR'S A LESBIAN!"

Starr chased after J as soon a Honoka started breathing on her own again. "I'LL GET YOU NOW!"

Honoka took some breaths for a moment and tilted her head to the side. She saw a garbage can. She ran over to it and puked in it. She finally stopped for a moment. "My _water wings _popped!"

Everybody said in unison, "You need _water wings_?"

Aoi then looked at Hawke. She swam over and slapped him. "WHY CAN'T PEOPLE UNDER THE AGE OF 21 SWIM IN THIS POOL? HUH?"

Hawke clutched his cheek. "What? There is no such rule!"

Aoi pointed at the sign. "Then what's THAT?"

Hawke stared at the sign. "That sign is handwritten. Just look at it! I write clearer than THAT! Who told you that bullcrap?"

Aoi looked at Starr. "Starr, the famously stupid blonde."

Hawke swam out of the pool. He grabbed the trash bag out of the garbage can that Honoka puked in. He set it down and grabbed Starr by her hair. He pulled her out and proceeded to dump Honoka's vomit on her. "Go clean up. And stay off of my carpet." Hawke grabbed a mop off of the fence and mopped up the vomit.

Starr grumbled to herself. "Great. My joke backfired. I ended up 'kissing' a girl, and then got a bag of her vomit dumped on me. That's just great." Starr stepped on the carpet. "Oops." She ran across the carpet, into her room, and into the shower. "I hope he doesn't notice."

Two hours later...

Everyone had eaten dinner. They all ran back to the pool. Hawke looked around, but didn't see Honoka. "Where is she?" Hawke ran back inside. He checked in her room. There she was, sound asleep on top of her diary. "Whoo." He carefully lifted her up onto his shoulder, lifted up the covers on her bed, slid her in, and placed the covers back on her. He looked at her open diary. "Well, I know I shouldn't…But I will anyway." He read the open page.

"Dear Diary,

America is amazing! I just love it here! I've only been here for three days, and I'm having the time of my LIFE! I got to jump off of a 40-foot diving board! But my water-wings popped when I hit the water. I had to get C.P.R. from that stupid blonde, Starr. Missy and Shinta tricked Aoi today, and I thought it was actually sort of funny! But I fear that I need to go to the psychologist again. Ms. Bunny keeps telling me to go kill people again. I've been bringing food to her every night, but I can't stop! I've lost control of my mind! Somebody help me! PLEASE HELP ME! PLEA-" The diary entry ended there.

Hawke looked at Honoka. His eyes widened as she opened hers. "Hawke? Wha-what are you doing here?"

Hawke started to sweat. "Well, I was checking up on you and I somehow began to read your diary. I read just this page though. Please forgive me!"

Honoka rubbed her eyes. "Thank you! THANK YOU! My plea has been answered! Can you take me to a psychologist? Please? I NEED it!"

Hawke took a few deep breaths. "You don't need help, Honoka. You just need to be talked to. And I can do that. I'll council you; I have a PhD in psychology. Just go back to sleep. I'll talk to you in the morning, okay?"

Honoka nodded. "Yes."

Hawke left. "Sheesh, there is a LOT wrong with her. Oh well."

Meanwhile, back out in the pool, Kai was getting ready to jump off of the diving board. J grabbed his surfboard off of the wall. "Saw this coming!"

Kai did a cannonball. "CANNONBALL!"

His impact shook the ground. A good four foot wave popped up. J took the opportunity and jumped onto his surfboard that was already placed in the water. He began to surf. "WHOO! BEAT THAT! SURFIN' IN THE POOL!" J's board slammed into the side of the pool. He fell onto his face.

Aoi pointed and laughed. "Hey, J! You shouldn't surf in pools! _You might get hurt!_"

J looked down at his surfboard. It was broken in half. "NO! My awesome board! RUINED! NO!" He looked at Aoi. "THIS IS YOUR FAULT!" He splashed Aoi.

Aoi screamed. "AIEEE! IT'S IN MY EYES! IT BURNS!" She splashed back, but ended up soaking Foxx with him.

Soon, the whole pool was wrapped up in a splashing war, all because of the fact that J had one too many beers. Finally, Hawke broke it up by draining the pool. "HEY! IT'S TWO IN THE MORNING! HOW ABOUT WE LET HONOKA GET SOME FRIGGIN SLEEP?" Everyone grumbled and left. "Gracious. There's always tomorrow."

End of chapter Three.

Tune in soon for chapter Four: When Videogames attack.

Jhonic.

**Please** comment and review.

Thanks for your comments! Anna didn't slap me. But now Kai says "If you don't get **another **review, I'll punch you in the face."


	4. Chapter Four: When Video Games Attack

**Chapter Four: When Videogames Attack**

In the last chapter, Shinta fixed Aoi's door, and received a surprising reward. Shinta and Missy played a prank on Aoi, thus pissing her off. Hawke invited everybody out to his pool, but Starr tricked Aoi, Shinta, Hajime, and Honoka into sitting in a kiddie pool. Honoka had to receive C.P.R. from Starr. And Hawke found out that Honoka is a psycho.

Missy was bored. She was very bored, which was odd, because she was on vacation. She flopped onto the couch and grabbed the remote. She soon tuned into a marathon of "Forensic Files" on Tru TV. She watched for a bit and yawned. "God, why is this so **boring?**"

After a while, Missy started to doze off. But as soon as she closed her eyes, Honoka popped up in front of her. She yelled "HI MISSY! WHAT'CHA DOING?"

Missy sat up and almost bashed her head with Honoka's. She asked the famous one-word question. "What?"

Honoka held up her Nintendo DS. "Uh, Aoi, Shinta, and I wanted to know if you wanted to play Elite Beat Agents with us."

Missy stood up while saying "Sure, I don't have anything better to do."

Honoka smiled. "Okay, we'll meet you in the sitting room."

Missy proceeded to retrieve her DS from her room. She ran out and fired it up. She grabbed her bag of games on the way. "Okay, I've got all my stuff!" She dashed out and back flipped onto a couch. "Now to get settled…"

Aoi and Shinta walked out, holding hands, as usual. The former pulled out her DS, which was covered in scratches. "I'm ready, and so is my Shintie-Poo."

Shinta turned red. "Shintie-Poo…?" He pulled out his standard issue Blue Ouendan Nintendo DS. "Since when is my name Shintie-Poo, Aoi?"

Aoi squeezed him. "It's not your name; it's just what I call you now. It's sort of your nickname. Is that all right? I just thought it was cute."

Shinta petted her. "I like it. It's as cute as you are, Aoi. I will remember it."

Honoka walked in. "Is everybody ready?"

Everyone had fired up their copies of E.B.A. Aoi nodded. "We've been waiting."

Two minutes and thirty seconds later…

Missy was doing the impossible. She was spinning the spinner at the end of 'I was born to love you' on 'Breezin'. She was roughly halfway through it and she had a fifty-thousand point bonus. Missy spun so fast that her screen tore in half. "Ack! My screen!"

Meanwhile, in outer space…

The Rhombulan leader chuckled to himself. This was his best plan yet. He started giving medals to the Rhombulans who snuck into Missy's room in the dead of night, to steal her DS. He then handed a medal to the Rhombulan technician who placed a dimensional portal into her DS, activated when circles were rapidly drawn on the screen.

"Great job, soldiers! We will finish them this time. And then we'll reap the rewards."

The crowd of Rhombulans yelled "Hail Ekwah! Greatest Rhombulan!"

Back in the sitting room…

Somehow, Missy had gotten halfway sucked into her DS. "HELP ME! DON'T JUST STAND THERE!"

Aoi, Shinta, and Honoka started pulling on Missy, trying to save her. But to no avail. Missy was soon in up to her neck. And, to their despair, the three of them were being sucked in as well. Aoi screamed for her life. She grabbed at Shinta's arm. "Don't let me go, Shinta!" She kept screaming.

Shinta tried to hold his ground, but realized it was useless. "I won't, Aoi! I wouldn't dream of it!" He started screaming too.

Everybody heard Aoi and Shinta's screams. They came running. However, they were too late to save Missy. Morris looked at the DS "That's one messed up DS, dawgs."

Soon, everybody was slowly being sucked towards and into the DS. Even Chieftain was screaming. "WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH THIS THING?!" He blacked out.

Many hours later, in a strange world…

A gruff voice spoke. "They appear to be alive."

A lighter voice said "Good, I thought they were dead. Better pull your sword out, just in case…"

Honoka opened her eyes to find a man with purple hair, an eye patch, and a sword, which was pointed at her neck. "OH MY GOD! DON'T HURT ME! I'M JUST A GIRL!"

The other person, a boy with spiky brown hair, and a scarf, holding a gun, looked at her. He smiled. "Good, you're really alive!" He looked at everybody else. "Are you **sure** you haven't seen these people before, Lucian?"

The purple-haired guy whose name was apparently Lucian looked over towards the brown-haired boy. "For the twelfth time Aaron. NO! I DON'T KNOW THEM!" He looked back at Honoka. "Tell me, have you seen anyone with a greenish skin around here? Or any vampires?"

Honoka's face went entirely pale. She screamed and hid under Karou's cape. "V-v-Vampires?" She shuddered. "You mean like kids in Halloween costumes?"

Lucian looked at her questioningly "What is this 'Halloween' you speak of? Not costumes, I mean **real **vampires. You know, like the ones that have been terrorizing this area? Are you one of the laboratory experiments? Are you an android?"

Honoka blinked. "Real vampires? No. There are vampires terrorizing this area? Laboratory? No, I'm not an experiment or an android. I'm just an ordinary girl. Where are we anyway?"

Aaron responded to Honoka's last question. "You're in Vambery, the tower laboratory. We were hunting down somebody when all of you just sort of appeared. We've been here for about three hours. Lucian over there wanted to leave you here for dead." He glared at Lucian.

Lucian glared back with his one eye. "You shut up. Don't make me look like the bad guy here!"

Meanwhile, Honoka was thinking. (Wait! Vampires. Lucian. Aaron. Vambery. DS. Sword. Gun. Could it be..? Could we be in Lunar Knights? No. That's impossible. That's a videogame! We're real!) Honoka started to panic. She grabbed Karou's hair and started to shake him awake. "KAROU! WAKE UP, YOU TUB OF LARD!" She started slapping him.

Karou opened his eyes. He glared swords at her. Not daggers. Swords. "Honoka, why on Earth are you slapping me?"

Honoka started screaming at Karou. "WE'RE TRAPPED IN A VIDEOGAME WITH THESE TWO!" Honoka pointed at Aaron and Lucian. "…AND THERE ARE **VAMPIRES!"**

Lucian gave Honoka a funny look. "Video…Game? What is this 'videogame' you speak of?"

Honoka was dumbfounded. She couldn't believe what she just heard. "You don't **know** what a videogame is?! YOU'RE IN ONE!" She started to cry. "We're going to be trapped here FOREVER!"

Aaron looked at the group. "Maybe they could help us somehow. After all, some of them look quite strong."

Lucian gave him a funny look. "You got any spare guns?"

"No."

"Okay then, Aaron. Then you just want them to walk up and punch our enemies and get themselves killed, right?"

"Uh…uh…uh…um…"

While the both of them were bickering about what everyone else could or couldn't do, Honoka and Karou had awakened everyone else by slapping (or kicking) them. Honoka walked up to Lucian and backhanded him. "Shut up and help us." Honoka then saw a sunflower on the ground. "Aw…Look at that!" Honoka picked it up and heard a choking sound. "Yikes! Sunflowers that make choking noises?"

The sunflower floated off of the ground and 'turned' towards Honoka. It started talking. "Young girl…WHY DID YOU JUST TRY TO KILL ME?!" Honoka fell down and scrambled away from the sunflower. "I WILL USE THE ALLMIGHTY POWER OF THE SUN TO-"

Aaron cut off the sunflower. "Toasty, that's enough! She didn't know that you aren't a sunflower!"

A black cat with bat wings popped out from behind Lucian. "Yes, that is quite enough." The cat turned towards to everyone else. "Don't mind Toasty, he's a little crazy. My name is Nero. I am the-" Nero was cut off as Aoi grabbed him from the air.

"Aww…You're so cute! Kai, can we keep him?" Aoi looked at Kai with the 'Bambi eyes' and smiled. "Please? I'll take good care of him and I'll make sure he's the happiest cat ever! He even has your scar!" She pointed to the scar on the cat's head. "Please?" Aoi did the 'little girl voice' that she was so famous for. "Pwetty Pwease?" She started petting Nero.

Nero sighed. "Why does this always happen to me? Insolent mortal." He bit Aoi's hand, drawing blood and causing her to scream. "Where was I? Oh yes, I am Nero, the-" Aoi grabbed Nero out of the air again. "Persistent mortal…"

She finished his sentence with her own words. "Cutest little bat-winged, talking cat ever!

Nero was frustrated with Aoi's antics. He bit her again, drawing more blood this time. He flew out of Aoi's reach. "I am Nero, the-" Aoi was holding up an open can of tuna. Where she got it, none of us will ever know. He sighed. "Never mind. I'll just stop trying. I need some food."

Aoi pulled a small piece of tuna out of the can. "Here, kitty kitty kitty! Nice kitty!" Nero floated down and nibbled the tuna out of Aoi's hand. She continued giving him more of it. "Good kitty! Cute kitty!" She patted his head. "See, Kai! I can take care of him! I will! I promise! I really do! I promise! I'll take care of him! PLEASE! Please let me keep him!"

Kai frowned. "Nero, please don't mind Aoi. She's out of her mind. Please forgive her. She's wanted a new kitty since Neko… well… passed away." Kai sniffled a little bit. He actually started to cry. "WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHY? WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DIE?!"

Sayaka ran over and hugged Kai. "Shh…Kai, everyone has to die! It's okay!" Soon, the whole Yuhi Ouendan was gathered around Kai, crying like children. They loved Neko. But he died during the "sun going out" incident. He had been crushed by a large chunk of ice meteor.

Everybody else gave them weird looks. Hayato mumbled to himself, "I didn't know Kai was such a softie. Jeez. He's crying his eyes out." He snickered.

Rin smacked Hayato upside the head. "Oh, come on. You were the same way when our puppy died!" Hayato stared down at the ground. A single tear dropped from his face.

Lucian walked up and snatched Nero from Aoi's hands while she was still crying. "Nero isn't going anywhere. He stays with us."

Aoi glared at Lucian. Her eyes literally glowing red. "_Give me the kitty. Now. Or else."_

Lucian almost chuckled. "Or else what? Are you going to cry like a little baby until you get what you want?"

Aoi jumped onto Lucian and sliced at his face with her fingernails. **"When I'm done with you, you're going to need a SECOND eyepatch to accommodate the first one!"**

Lucian drew his sword. He pointed it at Aoi's neck. "As you were saying?" He poked her with it very lightly; just enough to show that he meant business, but not hard enough to draw blood.

Aoi gave off an audible yelp and got off of Lucian. "Never mind, you can have the kitty. Just don't hurt me!" She walked away, very slowly. She stepped into air. She turned around, expecting to see the edge of a cliff. Instead, she found a hole in the ground, filled with lots of lights and colors. She realized that the hole looked similar to the one that sucked them into this mess. "Hey guys! Check this out!"

The agents, Asahi Ouendan and Hawke walked over to Aoi. Honoka asked, "What's up, Aoi?"

Aoi walked past them. "Wait a second." She walked over to the crying Yuhi Ouendan. She pulled an airhorn out of her pocket. She stuck it next to the group and pressed the button on it.

The airhorn caused the whole group to jump eight feet into the air. Kai fell first. He caught Sayaka in his arms. "Are you okay, Sayaka?" He looked past Sayaka at Aoi. "What's the idea of ruining this tender moment, Aoi?"

Aoi put the airhorn back into her pocket. "I found something; it looks like the portal or whatever it was that sucked us in here. Check it out! It's over here!" Aoi ran over to where the hole was.

Everybody walked over. Kai looked at it. "Okay, so it does look like the portal. So are you saying that you think that if we jump into this hole that we will get back home?"

Aoi nodded. "Something like that."

Kai looked at Saitou and Suzuki. "Suzuki, grab my arm, and I'll lower you down, Saitou, you grab his arm and take a look. If there's something good down there, give me two tugs. If there's something bad down there, give me five tugs."

Saitou and Suzuki rolled their eyes and did as they were told. Saitou grumbled about having to always be the bait. "Why am **I **always the bait?" Saitou was lowered down into the portal. He emerged in an empty field. He looked around to make sure there wasn't some crazy thing waiting to swallow them whole. He gave two tugs and let go.

Kai looked at the others. "It's good." He jumped in after Suzuki did so. Everybody else, with the exception of Aaron and Lucian, did the same.

Aoi was the last one in. Suddenly, an arrow whizzed past her ear. She realized how close that was when she saw it sticking out of the cliff nearby. She turned around and saw a person clad in green, on a horse, with a bow drawn. "I don't believe it. We're stuck in 'The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time.' Why aren't we home? And how in the hell does a portal in a _**Nintendo DS game **_lead to a _**Nintendo 64 game? **_Must have been 'Super Mario 64 DS.'"__

Anna saw Link too. "Oh. My. Freaking. God. It's LINK! The hottest guy EVER! OH MY GOD! WHAT A FREAKING HOTTIE!"

Hayato fell onto his back. "I thought **I **was the hottest guy ever, at least for you, Anna. But I guess you don't like me anymore."

Anna looked at Hayato. "Now he's not _that _much of a hottie. I meant the hottest _video game character, _ever.

Hayato smirked. "No, it's okay, I can deal with it. You can pretend to have a relationship with a videogame character, and not a real person. But when reality sets in, I'll be gone."

Anna wasn't listening, she was watching Aoi chase Link up a path with his own arrow. Aoi was yelling, "GET BACK HERE, YOU COWARD!" They were at the top of the cliff. Suddenly, something blue fell in front of Aoi. It was the Ocarina of Time. She picked it up.

Link turned around with his horse and yelled "ARAAGGGGGGGGH!" They came charging straight at Aoi.

Anna gasped. "AOI! RUN! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!"

Aoi stepped back, only to feel no ground. She was on the edge of the cliff. She stood there for a moment, Link came charging at her. But, within one second to impact, Aoi sidestepped, Link and his horse flew over the ledge. "That was close."

Aoi casually walked over to the others. "Hey, I got his Ocarina, what do we do with it?"

Shinta couldn't resist himself "Ahem… DA-DA-DA-DAAAAAAA!" Everybody gave him a "what the hell are you doing" look. "What? It was just a joke."

Anna swiped the Ocarina from Aoi. "I know how to play one of these things!" Anna busted out a loud, obviously off-key song. "So, what did you think?"

Karou was curled up in a fetal position, saying, "Make it stop. Make it stop. Make it stop."

Honoka pulled her fingers out of her ears and said, "I think that…thing, is an atrocity to all music! It's about as good as somebody scraping a chalkboard with their fingernails!"

Anna laughed and said, "You're just jealous. That's all. Stop trying to make yourself look better than me, you're wasting your time."

Honoka rolled her eyes and swiped the ocarina from Anna's hands. She threw it onto the ground, it shattered into pieces. "There, now you won't scare Karou anymore."

Karou stood up. "I see something flashing over there!" He pointed to a shining object behind a rock.

Aoi ran over and looked at it. "It's another portal! Let's go! Aoi was about to jump in before Anna caught her. "Anna!"

Anna gave Aoi an angry glare. "Oh, no you don't! The LAST portal we went through sent us **here. **Who knows where one HERE will take us!" She set Aoi down on the ground.

Aoi glared back at her. "So you'd rather take your chances here, and never leave this world, is that it? Link is dead, you know. It's only a matter of time before Ganondorf kills all of us!"

Anna thought for a moment. "Okay, you have a point, Aoi. The worst thing that could happen is that we all die. But we're in a videogame…So I wonder…What happens when we die?"

Ryuta suddenly swiped a gun from Starr's belt. He aimed it at Hayato and shot. It blew his head off. "That's what happens."

Hayato respawned next to his corpse. "You're going to get it once we get back in the real world." He looked at his corpse. "I never thought I'd look worse dead."

Anna squealed and squeezed Hayato. "You're okay! I thought you were gone!" She glared at Ryuta. "And YOU! You're going to get it!" Anna ran up to Ryuta and started punching him. "I'm going to make this as painful as possible for you!" She clawed at his eyes and busted him a good one in the nose.

Hawke pulled Anna off of Ryuta. "There's no need for us to kill each other. Ryuta, don't do that again. Hayato, just forget it. Punch him a few times and forget it. Now shut up, and get in the portal." Hawke walked over and jumped in. Everybody else did so, just to get out of the Zelda world.

More lights flashed. Honoka fell onto her face. "OUCH! She looked around. We're in…Yuhi town? But something doesn't feel right… I don't think we're out of the game yet…" She felt discouraged and stuck. "I WANT TO GO BACK TO OUR VACATION! NOW! I WANT IT NOW! I need… **HEEEAAALP!" **

J, due to his Elite Beat Agent instinct jumped behind her and said "HEY! MISSON!"

Then, something weird happened. **Another **agent J sprung out of nowhere, knocked the real J out of the way, and said "HEY! MISSION!"

Honoka was astonished. "Two J's? That's weird!" She looked at one, then the other, then the first one again. "Well, this is just getting crazier!"

The fake J pulled out his phone and said into it, "Kahn, I'm going to need some backup. Get all of the backup you can, call the Ouendan if you have to! NOW! We've got a **big** 'faker' situation here!"

INTERMISSION:

Hi, this is Hawke, informing you that the fake (insert character here) will now be referred to as F.(insert character here), and the real character will be normally noted.

Honoka is kawaii

Er…

END OF INTERMISSION!

J tackled F.J to the ground saying, "YOU'RE THE FAKER, FAKER!" The two soon got into a tussle that lasted for a good five minutes until Starr grabbed J.

Suddenly, everyone but Hawke had a clone of their own to fight with. Aoi squealed "IMPOSTER!" She pointed at her double. "Get rid of her, NOW!"

F.Aoi pointed at Aoi. "You're the imposter!"

Aoi stomped up and got in her double's face. "OH YEAH? YOU WANNA PROVE THAT?"

F.Aoi growled in Aoi's face. "YEAH! I'D LOVE TO PROVE THAT!"

Aoi tackled her double to the ground. Soon, both of them were scratching, pulling hair, and slapping each other as they rolled on the ground. Shinta watched them both for a moment until he realized who the fake Aoi was. He picked her up by the neck. "Stop touching my girlfriend, you faker!"

Suddenly, F.Shinta came crashing into Shinta's side. Shinta fell over, his double laughed at him. "Don't touch MY girlfriend!"

Soon, everyone but Hawke, Honoka and her clone were fighting each other. Everyone versus their clone. But, Honoka was sitting on a bench with her clone, having a rather pleasant conversation. Honoka giggled a little bit, saying, "Fighting ourselves is so silly! It's impossible to win or lose! Everybody has the same style as their double!"

F.Honoka agreed. "There has to be a way to calm everybody down… but how?"

Honoka thought for a moment. "Wait! I have an idea! Wait here! Just hide in those bushes!" Honoka pointed to some bushes. She went into a nearby building and soon appeared on the roof. She yelled down to everybody, "IF YOU ALL DON'T STOP FIGHTING, I'M GOING TO JUMP OFF OF THIS BUILDING!"

Everybody's eyes widened as they all stopped fighting to look up at Honoka. Everybody panicked as they couldn't tell which Honoka it was. Both Hayatos yelled up to Honoka. "DON'T JUMP! WE'LL STOP! JUST DON'T JUMP!"

Honoka disappeared from view. She appeared in back on the street after a bit. "Okay, let's stop fighting for just a moment! Look at yourselves! You look so dumb, fighting yourselves! Honestly, what's the point? It's an even match! It's like getting two apples to battle to the death! Ryuta can't kick Ryuta's ass! They're the same person!" Honoka pointed at the bushes where her double was. "And it's the same for anyone!"

Hawke stood up from the bench he was sitting on. "I know a few ways to tell who around here has come with us and who has been here. If you all stand still for a moment, I can figure it out. Missy, both of you, let me see your switchblades."

Both Missys reluctantly handed over their switchblades. One of them said "What do you need them for?"

Hawke flipped the switch on one of them. A sharp blade flipped out. He pointed to the Missy who gave that one to him. "AH-HA! You're the fake! Our Missy had the blade removed from her knife! There's no way you could be the real one!"

The real Khan gave Hawke a weird look. "How did you know that? You weren't on the plane!"

Hawke looked at him. "Well, one, you're obviously real. And two, I kind of OWN THE PLANE!" Hawke spent a good 30 minutes pointing the most random things out that proved who was real and who was not, like Kai's hat, which had been taped together, or Hayato kissing on Anna. "There…Wait, our group is missing someone! Where's Ryuta?"

Meanwhile, about two blocks down the street, Ryuta had knocked down a cardboard cutout of Phoenix Wright, Ace Attorney, and was standing in its place, pointing his finger at nothing. "OBJECTION! THAT STATEMENT CONTRADICTS THIS EVIDENCE!" He smirked. "_Ryuta Ippongi, Ace Attorney_. It's got a ring to it!"

Suddenly, a bullet whizzed past Ryuta's ear. Hawke was pointing a pistol at him. "GET OVER HERE BEFORE I RELOAD!"

Hayato ebbed Hawke on. "Do it again! C'mon! It'll be funny!"

Hawke fired a few more shots at Ryuta as he ran up the street. "HURRY UP, SLOWPOKE! I COULD BREAK AOI'S LEGS AND SHE COULD STILL WALK FASTER THAN YOU!"

Ryuta ran up to Hawke and the group. "Hey, what's that shiny thing over there?" He pointed to a portal.

Hawke looked at it. "God-damn, you people just have an instinct for that, don't you?" He walked through it. A few minutes later he popped back out. "I've got good news! I've found the way back to my house!"

20 minutes later… after all of the goodbyes that were necessary…

Everybody ran through the portal. Aoi was the first to reach the other side. "We're back!" She smiled and flopped onto a couch.

Soon, everybody except Honoka was accounted for. Sugita kept asking where she was. "Where is she?"

Finally, Honoka appeared through the portal, holding something behind her back. "Hey guys! What's up? I got us a souvenir!" She held out a smiling and giggling rabbit. Everybody gasped.

Hayato gave Honoka a glare. "Honoka, she doesn't belong here, she belongs back in the Sonic the Hedgehog universe! Put her back!"

Honoka looked at Hayato with weepy eyes. "But she's so adorable! I have to keep her! She'll be like a member of the family! And she likes me!"

Rin gave Hayato a glare. "What's your problem? She wants to be here with us! Come on, Hayato! Stop being so stuck-up! Karou! Convince him!"

Karou walked over to Hayato and lifted him up by his neck. "The rabbit stays. And if you don't shut up, you **won't **stay here."

Hayato managed to squeak out a sentence somehow, despite Karou's death grip. "Okay, the bunny can stay! Just put me down! You're constricting my neck!" Karou let Hayato drop. "But Honoka better either take care of her, or teach her to care for herself."

Honoka smiled. "Come on, Cream! Let's go do something! What do you do for fun?"

Hawke watched the portal seal itself. "I wonder if we can go back someday…"

End of chapter Four.

Tune in soon for chapter Five: The Devil Went Down To Florida (TDWDTF)

Jhonic.

**Please** comment and review.

My face hurts. Kai kept his promise. He punches really hard, too!


	5. Chapter Five: TDWDTF

**Chapter Five: The Devil Went Down To Florida**

In the last chapter, our favorite group of people got sucked into a portal in Missy's DS that was planted by the Rhombulans. They got trapped in a videogame. They talked and fought through a few different worlds, including a copy of their own. Honoka managed to somehow "invite" Cream the Rabbit from the Sonic the Hedgehog universe. (I think she kidnapped her, but that's just me.) But first, we have to make a quick stop in Hell.

The Devil was tired of stealing weak, stupid, souls from weak, stupid, people. He required souls that had a burning spirit. A fiery spirit, as powerful as all of Hell itself. He suddenly sat up. He had a great idea. "I've been watching those Ouendan lately, not to mention those Elite Beat Agents. They seem to have burning hot souls, perfect fuel for the fires of Hell!" He snapped his fingers and disappeared in a ball of fire.

Note: I will be referring to the Devil as "Lou." Except when people are talking to him.

Meanwhile, in Honoka's room…

Honoka was sitting on her bed, a rare frown placed on her face. She was depressed. She couldn't find her bunny anywhere. "Oh…Where is it?"

Cream slid up onto the bed next to Honoka. "What are you looking for, Honoka? I'd love to help you!"

Honoka looked over at Cream. "I'm looking for my stuffed bunny, Cream. I can't find it anywhere. You know, the one that I dangle off of my skirt. Oh, I'd give my soul to find that bunny. It means a lot to me."

Suddenly, Lou appeared in a ball of fire. "Did you say you would give your soul? So, if I found your bunny, you would give me your soul?"

Honoka looked at him. "If I can't find it, nobody can. I'd bet my soul on that."

Cream agreed. "Honoka either knows where something is, or nobody does. I'd put my soul on that too."

Lou reached into Honoka's hamper in the corner of the room. Honoka got irritated. "HEY! THAT'S PRIVATE! YOU CAN'T LOOK IN THERE!"

Lou pulled out Honoka's bunny, which was attached to one of her skirts. "You should remember to take something so important to you off of your skirt. However, that doesn't excuse you from your little bet. I now **own** your immortal souls!" Both Honoka and Cream disappeared in puffs of smoke. "One Ouendan down, twenty-four to go. This is going to be easy."

Lou was right. Missy challenged him to a Guitar Hero contest. He burned her pretty badly. Missy thought she was the best. "No…NO! You CHEATED!"

Lou laughed. "I didn't cheat. You just suck." Missy was soon gone.

Kai stumbled in, obviously drunk, and holding three bottles of beer. He saw Lou and dropped them. "HOLY SHIT! It's the Devil! Why are you here? Where's Missy? She's supposed to be here! You took her soul, didn't you? I challenge you to a pancake-eating contest and I-" Kai literally just fell over all of a sudden. Lou had knocked him out with his mind.

Lou sweatdropped. "Normally I'd take your soul right now, but I'll save you until you sober up. I may be the Devil, but I'll usually fight fair."

Lou walked around Hawke's house for a while, looking for another victim when suddenly, somebody tapped his shoulder. He turned around and a gloved fist caught him in the nose. It was Ryuta, who very well could tell what was going on. "So the demons are finally showing up on the surface, I'm not surprised."

Lou kicked Ryuta in the knee. "I'm supposed to be the dirty fighter, not you! Now I'll take your soul!" He waved his arm and a large flaming pentagram appeared from nowhere. It sucked Ryuta into it. When the pentagram was gone, so was Ryuta. "Too easy.

Suddenly there was a loud groan. It was Kai, he had already awakened. "Where'd the Devil go?" He looked around. Lou walked in. "I challenge you to a pancake eating contest! Be at the IHOP down the street in five minutes! First one to puke loses and pays!"

Five minutes later…

"WAITRESS!" Lou pointed to one of the girls in the IHOP. "I NEED SOME PLAIN PANCAKES! NOW!"

Kai was shocked at who the waitress was. "Sayaka?! What the hell are you doing here?"

Sayaka smiled. "I got a part-time job here! It's really great! Who's your friend?"

Kai rolled his eyes. "Uhh…I dunno, Sayaka, I just randomly invited somebody to eat with me at IHOP. HE'S THE FRIGGIN' DEVIL! GOD! We need some plain pancakes. No butter please."

Sayaka smiled and asked, "Would you like syrup with that?"

Kai facepalmed and pulled his hands down his face. "What don't you understand about the words **PLAIN PANCAKES**? No SYRUP. No BLUEBERRIES. No ROCKS. No NOTHING! Not even **butter.**"

Sayaka glared at Kai. "WELL. Isn't **somebody** pissy today! Jeez!" Sayaka walked off in a huff. When she finally got the pancakes, she spat on Kai's. "That'll teach him to be like that to me!" She walked over and placed the pancakes on the table, along with two forks and two knives. "Enjoy!"

Saitou and Suzuki appeared out of nowhere, saying in unison, "Put us in, we're going to cheer him on."

20 minutes and 80 dollars of pancakes later…

Kai felt sick. He ran to the bathroom. The whole restaurant heard him puking. He stepped out of the bathroom. "Ugh… I can't feel my stomach…" Before Kai said anything else, he disappeared in a puff of smoke.

Saitou and Suzuki protested for mercy. "Don't waste your time on our souls!" They disappeared too.

Lou was about to leave the IHOP when Sayaka stepped in the way of the door. "You have to pay first."

Lou laughed. "Don't trifle with me, or I'll take your soul too."

Sayaka glared at him. "I'm off the part-time clock in five minutes. I'll race you. If I, or my friends win, you have to pay and give Kai's soul, and anybody else's souls you've taken from people that I know. If you win, you get my soul. And the other two souls of the people that will help me. And you won't have to pay. Deal?"

Lou laughed. "Fine. I'll see you outside in five minutes." He ran outside and sat on the bench.

Five minutes later…

Sayaka had somehow convinced Aoi and Anna to show up. They were all lined up on the edge of the street. Aoi looked worried. "Are you sure it's a good idea to race the Devil through a busy intersection with no traffic lights, where the speed limit is eighty miles per hour during rush hour?"

Sayaka waved her off. "So you're chicken, Aoi? Is that it? Are you scared? Are you going to go run back to Shinta in tears if you lose or get hit by a bus? Is that it?" Aoi said nothing. "That's what I thought. Now…GO!"

The race was on. Lou jumped on a car. He kept jumping from car to car until he reached the other side of the street. Aoi was still at the start, holding her foot. Instead of getting it ran over, she stubbed it on the side of a car somehow. Anna and Sayaka were clinging to each other in the median, shaking like leaves. "It's like killing three birds with one stone!"

Lou walked back to Hawke's house out of boredom. He saw Hayato talking to Karou about the news of Lou being around. "Can you believe it? And he took Honoka's soul! When I find him…" He turned around and saw Lou. "There's the demon now!" He charged forth at Lou, with Karou right behind him. He tackled Lou to the ground. Karou ran up and pummeled Lou.

Lou was surprised at this sudden offense, but he was still prepared. His body started heating up. Soon it got so hot that Hayato jumped off of him screaming like a girl. "You can't hold down the Devil, you fools." He started his pentagram portal up and managed to catch Hayato in it. However, Karou had plenty enough strength and focus to avoid it entirely.

Karou slowly strafed circles around Lou, attempting to get him to attack. "Make a move!" Lou rushed him and busted him a good one in the nose.

He once again used his portal thing. Karou was gone. "Well, that hurt a lot. I think I'll go take a little rest…" Lou disappeared in a pillar of flames.

Back in Hell

Sayaka looked quite angry. "Here's your lemonade, _**sir.**_" She rolled her eyes.

Lou looked satisfied until he sipped at the straw. "THERE IS A HOLE IN THIS STRAW! I REQUIRE A NEW STRAW!" Sayaka walked back over with another straw.

"Thank you." He looked at Honoka, who was attempting to tune a guitar. "How's it coming?"

Honoka turned around and said, "**Fine, **_**sir.**_" She turned back to the guitar.

Meanwhile, while the girls were being treated like maids, the guys were being forced to break large rocks into small rocks, then glue them back together, and then smash them again. Repeat until infinity. Ryuta was getting tired of this. "Okay, I've broken this same rock over 200 times now. This is starting to get repetitive. Why are we doing this again?"

Hayato smashed a rock. "It's to keep us busy while he does what he wants. He just doesn't want any interference between him and the girls, I guess."

Lou was finally rested up. "I'm off to capture the rest of your friend's souls. Have fun." He vanished behind a pillar of fire.

Meanwhile, on the surface, Hajime, Moriyama, Reika, Foxx, and Sugita were playing a fun game of trivia when Lou showed up. Reika was astonished at what she saw. "Whoa, it's the DEVIL! What the hell is going on lately?"

Lou laughed at them. "I can beat anybody at trivia. I'm the best."

Hajime was annoyed by this comment. "You want to put your money and your souls where your mouth is, buddy?"

Lou laughed louder. "Sure! I figured you wanted proof anyway."

One hour and 254 questions later…

Hajime was shocked. "No way! NOBODY'S **EVER **BEAT ME AT TRIVIA!"

Lou collected their souls. "Hah. You need to learn when you just can't win. Never think that you can easily beat me, the DEVIL!"

Meanwhile, Rin, Derek, and Starr were playing tennis on Hawke's tennis court. Lou showed up out of nowhere and scared Starr. Starr screamed, "YIKES! IS IT HALLOWEEN ALREADY?"

Lou chuckled. "No, I'm the real thing. Watch this." He raised his arm and fire rose up from the ground.

Starr was dumbfounded "How did you do that? Those are some awesome pyrotechnics!"

Rin walked over and hit Starr in the face with the tennis ball. "You're stupid. He has to be the Devil. I feel his demonic presence."

Lou looked at the three of them. "You know, I'm not to shabby at tennis, I bet I could beat all three of you at once! Come on, three on one!"

Rin yelled, "HUDDLE!" The three whispered amongst themselves for a while. Rin looked at Lou. "We'll take you up on your offer. Just don't cry when you lose!"

Later, after a chaotic and literally fiery tennis match…

Starr grabbed Rin's shoulders. "YOU IDIOT! YOU MADE ME LOSE! YOU MADE **US **LOSE! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" She shook Rin for a bit before disappearing in smoke with Derek and Rin.

Lou suddenly got an idea of how to nab the rest of the agents' souls. He took a deep breath. "HEEEAAALP!"

Suddenly, the remaining agents (and for some reason, Shinta) showed up out of nowhere saying "HEY! MISSION!"

Lou yelled, "HOLD STILL!" He cast his portal thing again, the dancing agents were out of focus, they were taken in quickly. "Wait, where's Kahn? And where's that brown haired idiot? I just saw him…" He thought for a moment. He yelled rather sarcastically, "OH WELL, I GUESS I'LL GO USE AOI'S SOUL FOR HELL'S FUEL!"

Shinta suddenly jumped from somewhere and almost took off Lou's head with an _almost_ well-placed karate chop. However, he missed by about an inch and a half. He fell to the ground and hit his hand on the clay tennis court. "MOTHER OF GOD, THAT HURTS!"

Shinta was so focused on his pain that he forgot about Lou. Lou used his portal once again. Shinta was gone. Lou looked around. "Where's the old man at?"

A swift kick was dealt to the back of Lou's head. He fell over. Kahn asked, "Did you mean **me**?"

Lou stood up. "Old man, give it up. You can't beat me."

Kahn ran up and punched Lou in the face. "Don't call me old." He kicked Lou in the knee. "Are you SURE I can't beat you?" Kahn punched him again. "Personally, I'd give up if I were you."

Lou stood up and punched Kahn in the stomach. Kahn fell over, and Lou placed his foot on Kahn's head. "Frail old man, you can't win!"

"Perhaps not…Unless I have help!" Kahn sucked in a big breath. "HEEEAAALP!"

Down in Hell…

Everybody heard Khan's cry for help. J looked at everyone else. "We have to help the commander! He's our last hope! Everybody get ready!"

Back on the surface…

Kahn felt an intense spirit burning within. "You will not live through this!"

Lou was suddenly clocked upside the head by Kahn. It hurt a lot more than the last couple times he had been punched. He fell, his nose bleeding with his green blood. "Ouch!"

Lou got up and started a flurry of punches at Kahn, who caught every one. Kahn kicked Lou in the shin. "You can't beat me!"

"AAAAARRRRRRGHHH! MY SHIN!" Lou fell again, knocking his head onto the clay tennis court. He stood up. "I-I-I give!" He held out his hand. "Handshake?"

Kahn reached out, and was about to shake Lou's hand, but he decided to punch Lou in the face. "Nice try, but I don't trust any devil." He kicked Lou so hard that he slid into the net. "Go back to Georgia. Florida isn't for you."

Lou stood up. "Ha, ha, ha. That's original." He formed some fireballs in his hands and threw them directly at Kahn.

Kahn ducked and ran. "Yikes!" He got behind a wall. He found a metal bowl and an aluminum baseball bat. "Hmm…"

Lou walked closer to Kahn's hiding place. "Where are you? You can't hide from me!"

Kahn stepped out of the shadows. "I'M RIGHT HERE! TAKE YOUR BEST SHOT!"

"Fine." Lou threw a fireball at Kahn, who decided to hold up the bowl. Amazingly, the bowl actually **reflected** the fireball back at Lou. Who was set aflame by his own fireball. "ARRRGH!"

Kahn walked up and whaled on Lou with the baseball bat. "DIE. YOU. GOD. DAMN. DEMON."

Lou finally slid out of Kahn's assault and engulfed himself in a pillar of fire. The aluminum baseball bat started melting, and Kahn dropped it. "You cannot hurt me now!"

Kahn decided to take a long shot. He grabbed a nearby garden hose and turned the spigot on. He doused Lou with it. "Wrong again!"

The fire died down as Lou yelled, "OH NO! YOU'VE EXPLOITED MY ONLY WEAKNESS!" The fire flared back up as Lou laughed. "NAH, I'M JUST SCREWING WITH YA!" The pillar grew larger and hotter with each passing second, soon, it hurt Kahn to even _look _at it.

Kahn decided to take an even _longer _shot. He doused himself with the hose until he was thoroughly soaked. He dashed at Lou, hoping to break through the fire. He ran through and busted Lou in the face. The fire quickly died down. Kahn punched Lou many times, mostly in the face. "I'm going to banish you back to Hell for GOOD!"

Lou pleaded for mercy. "Let me go! I'll do anything! I'll let your friends go! I'll go to church! I'll give you money! Anything! You name it!"

Kahn drew back his fist, and knocked Lou's lights out. "Nice try."

Lou's corpse disappeared with the words, "I, the Prince of Darkness, have been defeated by an old man with a GARDEN HOSE?"

Hawke suddenly ran outside. "Oh, good, Kahn! Thank you god! I can't find ANYBODY! Where did everybody go?"

There was a sudden explosion of flames in the middle of the tennis court, it lasted for a good while, and suddenly, there was everyone, in its wake. Rin stood up. "Uh…Are we home?"

J looked around and saw Kahn, standing next to Hawke. "Looks like it."

Honoka suddenly jumped and squealed in joy. "YAY! No more tuning guitars for the devil!"

Hawke gave Honoka a weird look. "Tuning guitars for the devil? Honoka, we both have wild imaginations, don't we? I could have sworn that Kahn was fighting the devil himself, and that all of you appeared in an explosion of fire in the middle of my tennis court."

Kahn looked at Hawke. "That DID happen, you dolt!" He smacked Hawke upside the head, and then proceeded to point out all of his scars and bruises.

Hawke stood up. "Oh…" He slapped himself in the face. "So much for wild imaginations. "So… WHO WANTS LUNCH?!" Nobody said anything. "Fine. I'll go eat all of those special cookies I made. As soon as Hawke took a step, everybody else did too. "Oh, I see. You don't want any lunch. You want cookies." Everyone nodded. "Fine, let's go eat some cookies then."

After everyone ate the cookies, Aoi asked Hawke, "Hawke, can you take Shinta and me to the beach? Pleeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?"

Hawke turned from the sink. "Sure. When?"

Aoi grabbed his arm. "Now!"

Later, at the nearest beach…

Aoi and Shinta were both sitting on a towel together, gazing at the beautiful Florida sunset. Aoi looked over at Shinta. "Isn't this romantic?" She leaned up against him.

Shinta looked at her, straight into her eyes. "It sure is, Aoi."

Aoi sat up and wrapped her arms around Shinta. "Hug me." She squeezed him closer.

"I'll hug you, Aoi." He squeezed her gently, just enough for her to know he was there.

Aoi let go of him after a bit. "Thank you for coming here with me, Shintie-poo! I like it here, especially with you!"

Shinta gazed deep into her eyes. "I know you do, Aoi." After a bit, the two started kissing… Let's let them have their privacy…

End of chapter Five.

Tune in soon for chapter Six: Impending Doom

Jhonic.

**Please** comment and review.

If you comment and review, I can get some money to fix my face from last time.


	6. Chapter Six: Impending Doom

**Chapter Six: Impending Doom**

In the last chapter, the devil (Lou) tried to take everybody's souls, and almost had pulled it off, everybody except Kahn and Hawke lost their souls, but Kahn somehow fought Lou and won. Everybody's souls were returned after that. Then Hawke took Aoi and Shinta to the beach, where they enjoyed a romantic Florida sunset. Now we are in the week following said incident…

Sayaka was standing in Aoi's room with Aoi. "Aoi, you should really dust this room. The dust is so thick in here that I can smell it. Your birthday is coming up, you know. You should really get ready for that, Aoi."

Aoi rolled her eyes as she flopped onto her bed, tired of Sayaka's nagging to do random, stupid things. "Whoop-de-doo." She grabbed the remote of her bedside table. "What's on TV? Probably something stupid." She changed the channel to the "Public Access Channel," and placed the remote back on the table.

An announcer shouted, "AND NOW IT'S TIME FOR THE FUNNY FUN SHOW! WITH HOST, MISTER BEAR PUPPET!"

Aoi rolled her eyes and said, "Oh, joy."

Aoi was about to grab the remote again, when the announcer continued. "WITH SPECIAL GUEST, HONOKA KAWAI!"

Aoi sat up. "WHAT? Honoka's on T.V.? Meh, it's just the 'public access' channel. That's nothing special."

Honoka walked onto camera and waved. "HI, EVERYBODY!"

The studio audience yelled, "HI, HONOKA!"

Sayaka looked at Aoi. "What, you didn't know that Honoka is going to be the special guest on 'the Funny Fun Show' on Saturdays!"

Aoi rolled her eyes all the way into the back of her head and groaned. "Stupid public access."

Sayaka was shocked at Aoi's foul mood. "What's wrong? Aren't you happy for her?"

"No! That should be me up there! And that should be Shinta up there with me, acting for 'mister bear puppet!' It's not FAIR!" Aoi stared at the screen again.

Honoka said, "So, what did you want to talk to me about, Mister Bear Puppet?"

'Mister Bear Puppet' (Who was actually Karou.) said, "Well, I just wanted to talk to you about a friend of yours who's a big miss grumpy-pants!" Karou turned the puppet towards the camera.

Honoka looked at the puppet quizzically. "Well, who's that, Mister Bear Puppet? Who is it?"

"Well, that friend of yours is Aoi, and her birthday is coming up!" Karou made the puppet pick up a picture off of the table. He turned it towards the camera. It depicted a rater annoyed Aoi, who was looking like she was ready to punch whoever was taking the picture. "See? A big miss grumpy-pants!" He handed it to Honoka.

Honoka looked at the picture. "I do see, Mister Bear Puppet." Honoka looked towards the camera again. "And this is a special message to my friend, and the rest of you great viewers out there; BE HAPPY!" Honoka held up a sign with a cheesy looking smiley-face on it, with the word 'HAPPY' in giant, bold, blue letters.

Suddenly, there was a buzz, and 'Mister Bear Puppet' said, "That's all the time we have today, kids! See you next week!" Karou made the puppet wave.

Sayaka looked at Aoi, who turned off the TV, and threw the remote across the room. "Now, wait, calm down, Aoi!"

Aoi was angry. "IT'S NOT FAIR! Why does SHE get to be on TV? And make fun of me ON TV? What gives her THAT right?"

Sayaka took a moment to think about Aoi's questions. "She gets to be on TV because she read the 'wanted ads' in the newspaper. And she's not making fun of you; she's trying to make you feel better!"

Aoi rolled her eyes. "Fine. You made up some crap that's so believable that I'll believe it."

"Why don't you dust your room? It'll make you feel better!"

"Well…Okay." Aoi looked around. She grabbed Sayaka's ponytail and started dusting with it.

Sayaka protested. "HEY! STOP THAT! YOU'RE GOING TO RUIN MY HAIR! STOP IT!" Sayaka wrestled against Aoi's grip, but to no avail. "HELP! SOMEBODY HELP ME! AOI'S RUINING MY BEAUTIFUL HAIR! GET HELP! CALL THE POLICE! CALL THE FIREMEN! CALL AN AMBULANCE! CALL SOMEBODY!"

About ten minutes later, Aoi was done. "You were right, Sayaka! Dusting DOES make me feel better!" Aoi was still holding Sayaka's hair, which had gone gray with the layers of dust covering it.

Sayaka wrestled her hair out of Aoi's grasp. She slapped Aoi. "Don't do that again!"

Shinta suddenly walked in, holding Honoka's hand. Honoka said, "Hi guys!"

Aoi was shocked. "Sh-Shi-SHINTA! What on EARTH are you DOING?"

Shinta looked at her funny. "Is…Is that a trick question? I'm not doing anything."

Aoi was enraged. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE NOT DOING ANYTHING?! YOU'RE HOLDING HONOKA'S HAND!"

Shinta looked down at his hand, which was grasping Honoka's. "Oh yeah…Heh, heh. I had no idea. Whoops…"

Aoi exploded. "I SEE! YOU DON'T LIKE ME ANYMORE! I thought you loved me! You hugged me and kissed me and petted me! I see that I've been fooled again!" She ran out of the room, bawling and screaming. "YOU DON'T LOVE ME ANYMORE! I HOPE YOU DIE IN A HOLE!"

Shinta ran after her, but met her slammed door. "Ouch…" He ripped the door open and ran out. "AOI! WAIT! IT'S ALL A BIG MISUNDERSTANDING!"

Aoi turned around, tears in her eyes. "Oh, so she must have you under some crazy mind control then!" She dashed back into her room and delivered a smack to Honoka's cheek.

Honoka yelped. "WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!" She slapped Aoi upside her head.

Aoi sliced at Honoka with her fingernails, she managed to actually cut her stomach. "THAT WAS FOR STEALING MY BOYFRIEND!" She then busted Honoka in the nose. "AND THIS IS FOR SLAPPING ME!" Honoka fell onto her butt.

She stood up and rubbed her bleeding nose. As soon as she saw blood, she went into a frenzy. She jumped onto Aoi, and started scratching at her face. "I DIDN'T STEAL YOUR BOYFRIEND! HE WAS JUST HOLDING MY HAND!"

Rin walked in. Sayaka ran over to her. "Rin! You have to help me! They're out of control!"

Rin watched the girls roll about on the floor for a moment before she grabbed Honoka by her arms and pulled her off of Aoi. "STOP IT! STOP IT RIGHT NOW!" Sayaka managed to grab Aoi before she tried to get an extra slap in on her.

Five minutes later, in one of the unused closets in Hawke's home…

Sayaka had cleaned Honoka's wound, and had tied her to a chair. She and Rin had decided to exchange the girls. Honoka yelled, "UNTIE ME! NOW! What is the meaning of this?!"

Sayaka slapped Honoka. "Shut up!" She put a bandage on Honoka's cut. "We're going to tie you to chairs, leave you in here, and not let you out until you talk this out like rational people!"

Soon, Rin brought in a screaming Aoi, also tied to a chair. "God, Aoi. Put a sock in it!" Rin debated removing one of Aoi's socks and sticking it in Aoi's mouth. She decided against it.

Aoi gave Rin a glare. "You hurt me!"

"I really don't care." Rin set Aoi about four feet from Honoka. "Come on, Sayaka." Rin and Sayaka left the room. Sayaka turned the light off. They both closed the door, and locked it.

Honoka and Aoi sat there for about five minutes before Aoi said, "Honoka…"

Honoka responded, "Yes, Aoi?"

Aoi said, "When we get out of here…"

"Yes, Aoi?" Honoka was intrigued.

Aoi whispered rather angrily, "Let's kill them."

Honoka enjoyed that idea. "Yeah, let's do that!"

There was a sudden banging on the roof, followed by an explosion. As the dust cleared, light poured into the room, blinding the two girls. Aoi saw a dark figure drop into the room. "I think that's one of those Rhombulans that we saw on the plane!" Aoi felt herself rise from the ground. "And they're kidnapping us!"

Both girls screamed, but nobody came to help them. Soon, they found themselves on the Rhombulan mothership. The Rhombulan leader walked up to them. "Well, what do we have here? An easy catch!" The leader laughed.

Aoi yelled at him, "WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM US?! CAN'T YOU LEAVE US ALONE?!"

The leader laughed manically for a good while. Finally he regained control of himself. "We're going to dip you and all of your friends in acid! However, you two will work as bait."

Meanwhile, in Hawke's arcade…

Sayaka and Rin were enjoying a game of Air Hockey. Suddenly Sayaka remembered Aoi and Honoka. "Hey, Rin! Let's see if the two brats have made up!"

Rin hit the puck so hard that it flew off of the table and whacked Chieftain in the back of his head. "Yeah…Let's go before Chieftain rips my spine out and beats me with it."

The two unlocked the closet and gasped. Sayaka said, "Oh no…oh no, oh no, oh no… Shinta's going to kill me…and Sugita…and Kai…and Karou." She looked at Rin. "THEY'RE ALL GOING TO KILL ME! HELP ME, RIN!"

Rin looked at her. "I can't really help with this- EEK!" Rin was being lifted into the air by an unknown force. Sayaka grabbed her legs. "HELP! SAYAKA! PULL ME DOWN!"

Sayaka was not surprised when she felt herself floating. "I can't Rin. I'm too busy flying." She rolled her eyes. "I'm not going to panic…I'm not going to panic…" A few minutes later, Sayaka panicked. "SOMEBODY HELP ME! I'M BEING KIDNAPPED! HEEEAAALP!"

Meanwhile, in Hawke's living room…

Agent J looked up at the ceiling. "Did you hear something?"

Ryuta walked in and flopped onto a couch. "Nope." He grabbed the remote off of the table.

Hayato walked in, with Cream clutching his leg. "Nope. And NO, Cream, you can't have my cookies!"

Cream gave him the 'Bambi Eyes.' "Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase?"

Hayato pushed Ryuta off of the couch. "No. Go bother somebody else, you little runt." He shook her off of his leg.

Cream pouted. "If only Cheese was here…" She walked off crying. She soon found somebody to cry on, Reika.

Reika looked down at her. "What's wrong, Cream?" She petted Cream, trying to make her feel better.

Cream looked up, tears in her eyes. "Hayato called me a runt! And he wouldn't share his cookies with me! He's a big doo-doo head!"

Reika frowned. "He is, isn't he?" She walked into the living room and smacked Hayato upside the head. "Give me one of those cookies."

Hayato hesitated for a moment. "Here." He threw a cookie at Cream.

Cream caught it. "Thank you, mister Saionji! And thank you, miss Minazuki!"

Hayato rolled his eyes. "Whatever."

Ryuta, bored of his position on the floor, got up, and smacked the cookies out of Hayato's hands. He caught the cookies in the bowl. "I claim these cookies in the name of Yuhi!" He started to walk over to another couch.

Hayato stood up and dove at Ryuta. "Anna made those cookies especially for ME!"

Ryuta jumped out of the way. He pointed at Hayato, who was sliding across the tile. "Hey look! A penguin with blonde hair! How odd to see a penguin in Florida, let alone one with blonde hair!"

Hayato was pissed after that comment. "Take that back!" He stood up and tried to punch Ryuta in the face. He missed by about an inch. Ryuta swung back.

J watched them fight for a moment. He pulled out a video camera. "It's the chance of a lifetime! You get to see Ryuta and Hayato fight!" He filmed the two attempting to punch each other. It lasted for about 30 minutes before the camera died. "I guess I'll add lightsaber sounds…" He walked off.

Finally Ryuta got tired of fighting with Hayato. "This is stupid. Have your damn cookies." He dumped them on Hayato's head.

Hayato caught all of the cookies and started munching on them greedily. "Mmm…Cookies…"

Meanwhile, back on the Rhombulan's ship…

Sayaka and Rin had been tied to chairs. Sayaka was yelling, "LET ME GO! I'LL GET KAI TO HURT YOU IF YOU DON'T!"

Rin, meanwhile, was wishing Sayaka would shut up. After about thirty seconds, she snapped. "SAYAKA! SHUT THE HELL UP! IF I GET OUT OF THIS CHAIR I WILL PERSONALLY SNAP YOUR NECK!"

Aoi said, "I DON'T WANNA BE DIPPED IN ACID!" She kicked her legs on the chair. "I'm too young and cute!" She looked down and a single tear dropped from her face.

Sayaka looked at her. "Aoi, stop whining."

Aoi sniffled a little as she glared at Sayaka. She started speaking in a low voice. "Shinta… Where are you? Why aren't you helping me?" She looked down again and suddenly yelled, "SHINTIE-POO! IF YOU DON'T GET YOUR ASS UP HERE RIGHT NOW, WE'RE THROUGH! DO YOU HEAR ME?"

Meanwhile, Shinta felt a chill pass through his body.

"Aoi?" He looked around. "There's something wrong here…" He looked out of a window, and saw a giant screen, which was displaying the four girls struggling. "AOI!"

The Rhombulan leader walked on screen. Shinta noted that he looked like a normal Rhombulan, except with gold colored armor. "Hello, foolish people of Earth!"

Shinta yelled at him. "I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO IS LISTENING, STUPID!"

The leader stuttered for a second. "W-w-w-what? PAY ATTENTION DAMNIT!" Shinta was pitching cards at the screen.

Shinta looked up. "Oh, okay." He eyed the ship in the sky. "Beam me up, I want to fight you."

The leader laughed, he laughed so hard that he fell off of camera. He pushed himself up. "All right, all right, beam him up."

A purple light enveloped Shinta; he floated up into a docking bay of the ship. He was escorted through a mazelike series of halls, at the end, there was the leader, standing on a hologram deck. "You're going down, Alien! I'm here to finish what the Elite Beat Agents started!"

The leader held his hand out. "Wait. I'll give you the choice of where we can fight. We ARE on a hologram deck, after all. And the girls are here to watch you DIE!" He motioned over to the girls, who were still tied to chairs.

Shinta thought for a moment. "Can we fight ANYWHERE?"

The leader scratched his helmet. "Anywhere you can think of."

Shinta tapped his foot. "How about our houseboat?"

"Fine." The leader walked over to a control panel in a corner of the room. He typed a few things, and a grid appeared around Shinta. Soon, it was filled with colors and shapes. Before he knew it, Shinta was standing on an exact replica of the Asahi Ouendan's houseboat. The leader walked into the hologram.

Shinta ripped a plank out of the floor. "I've always wanted to do this to Karou, but this will have to do!" He ran up and smashed the leader in the face with it. "Take that!" He jumped back, anticipating that the leader would try to punch him.

The leader stood up. "Is that it?" He raised his arms, and three planks rose from the boat. One knocked poor Shinta off of his feet, the second one slammed him upside the head, and the third one scraped up his right leg, ripping a part of his pants.

Aoi could only stare in fright at the fight that was happening right before her eyes. "NO! GET UP! GET UP, SHINTIE-POO!"

The leader lifted Shinta up by his neck, and held him over the side of the ship. "Any last words?" Shinta said nothing. The leader dropped him. "Goodbye, fool."

Shinta landed in the water with a splash. Aoi's eyes widened to the size of dinner plates. She screamed. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! SHINTIE-POO!" Aoi literally broke the rope binding her, ran into the hologram, past the startled leader, and dove off of the ship, into the water. She grabbed Shinta, and swam to a rock that was there for some reason.

The Rhombulan leader stood there, dumbfounded at Aoi's determination. "Why does she care so much for him?"

Aoi hauled Shinta onto her lap. "SPEAK TO ME, SHINTIE-POO!" She held him in her arms. "Don't die, Shinta…Please don't die! I love you! I need you!" She began to shake him. "DON'T DIE! PLEASE!" He remained motionless. She started crying. She squeezed him, her tears running down her face, onto his shoulders. "Please don't die!" She sat there with his body for a moment, hugging him. There was a sudden tapping on her shoulder. She turned her head to see the Rhombulan leader.

The leader removed his helmet, revealing a Rhombulan with green skin. "Tell me, Aoi, why do you care about this person? Why does water stream from your eyes? Why do you scream so loudly?"

Aoi was amazed that the Rhombulan would ask such a question. "It's because of a feeling called LOVE, certainly something your people don't know about!"

The leader looked into her eyes. "What about the water and the noises?"

Aoi squeezed Shinta closer to her. "It's called being SAD! YOU killed the ONE guy I loved! The ONE guy who loved ME!" She squeezed Shinta even harder. "How could you do this? You're just a MONSTER! He was INNOCENT, he was HANDSOME, and he had the courage to try and save the ONE girl he loved! AND YOU KILLED HIM!" She glared at the leader, her eyes entirely red with anger. "Now I'll never see him EVER AGAIN! But you don't care! Noooooooooooo, you're just an alien with the thought that you can kill anyone and get away with it! WELL, YOU CAN KILL ME TOO!"

The leader was shocked at Aoi's sudden choice of wanting to die. "You…you want to die? Why?"

Aoi was enraged that he didn't kill her on the spot. "BECAUSE I HAVE NOTHING TO LIVE FOR! NOBODY TO LOVE, NOTHING!" She pulled a knife from the leader's belt. She held it to her neck. She tried to slit her throat, but she hesitated at the last second. "Why can't I do it?! WHY?"

Suddenly, the hologram shut off with an explosion. Aoi was swept up by J. "Hold on, Aoi!"

Aoi shrieked. "WAIT! DON'T FORGET SHINTA!"

J yelled, "IT'S TOO LATE FOR HIM, WE HAVE TO GO, NOW!"

Aoi screamed. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

J activated his jetpack, and flew out of the ship with Aoi in his arms. "HOLD ON!"

Three others blasted out after J. Chieftain yelled to J, "We couldn't get him!"

Aoi freaked out. "WHAT?! WHY?! WHY COULDN'T YOU GET MY SHINTIE-POO, YOU EVIL, CRUEL, MAN? YOU HAVE A WHOLE FREE ARM!"

About thirty seconds later, the ship exploded. Shrapnel rained down above a large lake behind Hawke's mansion. J covered Aoi's eyes, to make sure she wouldn't see any flying bodies and think they were Shinta. "Hold on, Aoi, we're almost down!" They finally landed.

As soon as Aoi's feet touched the ground, she ran inside, bawling. "IT'S NOT FAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIR!" She jumped onto her bed and buried her face into her pillow. She kicked her mattress and pounded on the wall. Then she screamed so loud that her glasses cracked. Everybody piled into her room.

Kai walked up to her. "Aoi…What's wrong?" He sat on a chair next to Aoi's bed. He picked her up off of her bed. "Look at me, Aoi." Aoi looked at him. "Listen. I know what happened is bad, but it's not the end of the world. You just got abducted by some aliens."

Aoi looked away. "Aliens that killed my boyfriend."

Kai scratched his head. "What?" He turned around. "Aoi, that's Shinta right there, look!"

Aoi looked and was shocked to find Shinta staring right at her. She rubbed her eyes and he was still there. She slid off of Kai, ran up to Shinta, and jumped on him. "SHINTIE-POO! YOU'RE OKAY!" Aoi squeezed him and planted kisses on every part of his face, tears of joy covering her tears of sorrow. "I thought you died!"

Shinta hugged her. "I'm okay, Aoi. I'm okay. I'll never die on you. I promise."

Hawke suddenly ran in, ruining the tender moment. "I heard screaming!" He looked around. "We should have a party, now that the Rhombulans are dead and all." Hawke snickered a little. "If only that were true." Hawke rose into the air. "Behold, the new ruler of your world! EKWAH! Come and try to destroy me, if you dare! I am the TRUE Rhombulan leader!" He flew away.

Everyone was shocked. Kai growled. "I knew there was something fishy about this from the start!"

Karou smacked Kai on the back of the head. "I call bullshit. You would have certainly informed us of this."

End of chapter Six.

Tune in soon for chapter Seven: The Final Battle.

Jhonic.

**Please** comment and review.

I hope you're happy. My face is horribly disfigured now.


	7. Chapter Seven: The Final Battle

**Chapter Seven: The Final Battle**

In the last chapter, the Rhombulans attacked, kidnapping Rin, Sayaka, Honoka, and Aoi. Shinta went up and fought the Rhombulan leader, and almost died. But the Elite Beat Agents swooped in and saved the girls in the nick of time before Aoi killed somebody. Shinta escaped the Rhombulan mothership somehow, and Hawke revealed his TRUE identity.

Aoi frowned, deep in thought. "We must do something! If we don't-"

Kai cut Aoi off. "We'll all die."

Aoi grinned, scratching her head. "Yes."

Suddenly there was a large purple light shining through the window. Karou looked outside, and saw an even BIGGER ship blasting people with lasers. "Holy god…We're screwed."

They all rushed outside. Honoka looked around. "What do we do, Sugita? What do we do?" She hugged her boyfriend in fright.

Sugita looked down at Honoka, his eyes still clenched shut. "I don't know, Honoka. How am I supposed to figure things out? I haven't opened my eyes in years."

Honoka rolled her eyes. "Okay, then…" She looked at Rin. "What do we do, Rin?"

Rin glared at her. "LET'S MAGICLY FLY UP THERE OR SOMETHING! I DON'T KNOW!"

Kahn suddenly yelled, "Good thing I have a JETPACK!" He flew into the air, wearing a jetpack.

Hayato facepalmed. "ONE jetpack. HOW is ONE jetpack going to fly TWENTY-FIVE people up to an ALIEN SPACESHIP, which is armed to the TEETH with LASERS, GUNS, AND OTHER WEAPONS?! ESPECIALLY, with the FACT that only YOU know how to fly the god-damned thing!"

Kahn landed and frowned. He turned on his communicator and said, "Agent Sparks, can you send our chopper? Thanks."

A few minutes later, a jet black chopper flew with a bright yellow star flew onto the scene and landed in Hawke's yard. A bald agent jumped out. "Here's your chopper, Kahn! Don't know how on Earth you think this piece of crap is going to make it up there, but whatever." He ran off somewhere and disappeared.

Agent J looked at Kahn. "Who was that?"

Kahn smacked J upside the head. "YOU KNOW WHO HE IS! HE'S THE GODDAMN VEHICLE MANAGER, AGENT BA-6 SPARKS! HE'S RESPONSIBLE FOR OUR VEHICLES, YOU IDIOT!"

Everybody piled into the chopper, and Kahn started flying it straight at the Rhombulan's mothership. Hayato yelled to Kahn, "THIS IS SUICIDE! PULL US AWAY, NOW!"

Suddenly, every single turret placed on the mothership aimed at the chopper. A voice came over the intercom. Ekwah had hacked the channel. "Give it up now, or face death!" Kahn continued flying straight at the mothership. "READY, MEN…FIRE!" The Rhombulan mothership opened fire on the chopper.

Kahn yelled, "EVERYBODY HOLD ON TIGHT!" Kahn made the helicopter drop altitude at a very alarming rate. He then soon flew up in the air, behind the turrets, where they would not be hit, as the ship isn't going to fire at itself. "Okay, we're safe, for now."

He carefully hovered into the docking bay, which was strangely empty. Ryuta looked around. "This is too eerie…It's too quiet."

Hayato smirked and snickered at Ryuta. "What's the matter, fire-boy? Scared of a few aliens?"

Ryuta turned around and smacked Hayato. "What is WRONG with you? FIRST you steal Anna from me, I mean, she LOVED me! But then YOU and your circus-on-a-ship showed up! She fell head over heels for you! YOU ruined OUR relationship! AND THEN, I try to get with one of YOUR cheergirls, and what do you do? You FREAK THE HELL OUT! You go insane! Then you're all like 'well, our two squads should probably avoid unnecessary interaction.' What makes you having a girlfriend more important than me having one?"

Hayato snickered. "There's one reason that it's more important. We're talking about me, here, the pinnacle that IS Ouendan! YOU, on the other hand, are a piece of riff-raff that SHOULD be out on the streets begging for change, not cheering."

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?!"

Hayato somehow still kept his cool, despite Ryuta getting in his face and yelling at him. "I figured your brain would be too slow to comprehend that. Let me say it louder and slower this time… WE. ARE. TALKING. ABOUT. ME. NOT. YOU. OKAY? YOU. STUPID. LITTLE. PIECE. OF. RIFF-RAFF!"

Fire literally lit up in Ryuta's eyes. He busted Hayato in the face so hard that he slid about five feet. "Want to keep talking pal? There's more where that came from!"

"Oh, sure, always settle your problems with fighting, yeah, that's real smart. Did you hit Anna when you were her boyfriend when she pissed you off?" Ryuta lunged at Hayato again, who dove for his life, knowing Ryuta would tear him limb from limb for that remark. "Besides, I know Reika doesn't even like you! She'll never be your boyfriend. You were lucky just to be with Anna for…what, the week and a half you were with her?"

"TAKE THAT BACK!"

Meanwhile, Commander Kahn was watching this little fight and laughing at them. He finally walked up and blocked the two from punching each other. "Can we stop this? Everyone else has gone ahead."

Both looked at him, shocked. "THEY LEFT WITHOUT US?!"

"Yes, they got bored with watching you fight. You should settle this right now. Hayato, you should either let Anna go, or keep out of Ryuta's business and let him at least TRY to win Reika over."

"He obviously wants Reika for her brains, because he doesn't have any. That's why he won't let me have her. He KNOWS that if Reika left, the squad would be entirely brainless!"

Kahn looked at Ryuta. "Ryuta, shut the hell up. We're trying to RESOLVE the situation, not make it worse."

"FINE, HE CAN HAVE REIKA IF SHE LIKES HIM, BUT IF SHE DOESN'T LIKE HIM, IT IS NOT MY PROBLEM! FAIR? CAN WE MOVE ON?"

Kahn looked at the both of them. "I can't believe that you two were fighting over a GIRL. How immature."

Hayato looked at Kahn. "She's not just ANY girl! She's Anna Lindhurst!" Hayato gave a small grin.

Suddenly there was a female scream, and Anna dropped through a nearby see-through tube. Ryuta looked at Hayato with one eye opened WIDE. "Did you see…what I just saw?"

"Yes, I did. Anna's in deep trouble, I can feel it."

"HELP ME, YOU IDIOTS!"

Hayato looked around for Anna, and found her in another glass tube, being covered in some sort of black liquid. "I'll save you!" He punched the glass, and it shattered. He pulled Anna out. "Are you okay? Speak to me!" Anna remained silent. "No… ANNA! WAKE UP, PLEASE!" He gave her a quick slap on the cheek.

Anna slowly opened her eyes. "H-Hayato?"

"Are you okay, sweetie?" He set her on her feet.

"I'm fine. We need to help the others, as I'm sure they've suffered the same fate as I almost did."

"What fate?"

"I do not know. They all dropped with me though, so I'm assuming that the same thing happened to them…"

Hayato noticed a door, and kicked it in. "Well, if we're going to get anywhere, we need to move quickly."

"We didn't go that way."

"Well it's the way we're going now. The other way is probably FILLED with traps, if there's one trap you do find, there's twenty you don't." He walked into the room and freaked out. "I found them, guys!"

Everyone rushed in to find tubes, all but four holding somebody in them. The four empty ones were, sure enough, labeled 'Hayato', 'Anna', 'Kahn', and 'Ryuta.' Kahn freaked out when he noticed a console that said 'release fuel sources.' "THEY'RE USING THEM FOR FUEL?! THAT…THAT'S TERRIBLE! HELP ME FREE THEM!" Kahn pushed the button and another console popped up, requesting a password. "How about one-two-three-four-five?" The console flashed for a second and suddenly, the tubes drained and opened.

The four proceeded to wake everyone else up. Honoka said, "Wow, that was some nap. I feel great!"

Ryuta raised one of his eyebrows. "You were just being used for a fuel source and now you feel GREAT?"

Honoka nodded. "Yep."

Ryuta scratched his head. "Okay…If you're sure…"

Derek pointed to a door. "Where does this door go?"

Spin walked up to the door and kicked it down. "I've always wanted to do that. I just never got the chance."

Kahn gave him a look. "You should have just asked. I'd let you kick down J's door all you want."

J looked at Kahn with a glare. "WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?"

"It means you're stupid. Now shut up.

Ekwah was there, waiting. "Hello, agents and ouendan. I've been expecting you." He cast a bunch of small cubes on the floor. Dark liquid dripped from the ceiling and hit the cubes, which soon took form, as clones of everybody, except they were pitch black, and they had glowing yellow eyes. "Dark clones…ATTACK!" They all rushed the agents and ouendan, who had all ran into the room by now. Ekwah rose into the air and pulled out two glowing swords, and hovered for a moment.

Ekwah quickly flew towards Kai, and swung one of the swords. It clanged against Kai's beard. "Fifty bottles of hair gel a month on my beard works well, doesn't it?" Soon, a sword fight erupted between Kai's beard and Ekwah's swords. Kai eventually knocked one of Ekwah's swords across the room. Kai's clone hit him upside the head. Ekwah figured that Kai was already done for, so he flew off to find his sword.

Meanwhile, Spin had picked up the sword and was now stabbing his own clone in the face multiple times. "TAKE THIS, YOU FAKER!" He slammed the sword down in the clone's face, killing it entirely. He noticed the cube had a large stab hole in it. "THEIR WEAKNESS IS THE CUBES! YOU HAVE TO DESTROY THE CUBES! CATCH, MORRIS!"

Spin threw the sword to Morris, who caught it effortlessly. "DIE, DAWG! YOU CAN'T CLONE ME AND MY DAWGS LIKE THIS!" He sliced the clone's head off, and found the cube, which he quickly stomped on. "Moriyama! HERE!"

Morris ran by and passed Moriyama the sword. Ekwah suddenly flew towards Moriyama, now knowing where his sword was. Moriyama had just sliced his clone to bits, and cut the cube in half when he was almost beheaded by Ekwah. "WHOA!" He blocked many slices of his sword and suddenly, with a loud yell, knocked his other sword out of his hand. He took the opportunity to stab Ekwah in his heart.

Ekwah stood there for a moment, and then pulled the sword out of his chest. It had blue blood on it. "Have you forgotten that I am not human? I am impossible to kill like that. Now you are defenseless, and I have a sword."

Suddenly, a sword was sent spinning into the air above Ekwah, and somebody jumped up to it, caught it, and slammed down on Ekwah with it, shouting, "GREAT AETHER!" It was in fact, Shinta.

Moriyama gave him a look. "You've been playing too much Super Smash Brothers Brawl for your own good. I mean, seriously, that was INHUMAN! THAT WAS AWESOME! And I wonder why I called you stupid." Shinta arched an eyebrow at Moriyama. "What?"

"Ekwah is officially dead, I can tell you that much. Look at him. I killed him. I killed somebody. I feel terrible. But I know I had to do it for Earth. But I guess I saved somebody directly."

After a few more minutes, the clones were all dead. Or so they thought. Ryuta looked around. "Where's Reika?"

"HELP ME!" Reika was being choked by her clone, and she was about five stories of stairs up. "Help me… Please!"

Ryuta rushed up the stairs, and got behind Reika's clone, which was so obsessed with killing Reika, that she could care less. Ryuta punched into the back of the clone's head so hard that he pierced the thick membrane that the clones had within, which held the liquid in place. He ripped out the cube, and Reika's clone fell to the ground in a puddle. He crushed the cube in his hand and helped Reika up. "Are you okay, Reika?"

Reika looked at him. "Yes. Thank you for saving me." She gave him a quick smooch on the cheek and walked down the stairs.

Ryuta's face was almost as red as his hair. "My god…She kissed me…" He followed Reika down the stairs.

Ekwah was amazingly still moving. Kai was watching this miracle, as he had seen what Shinta did. Ekwah's upper body was amazingly in one piece. Kai took one of the swords, and cut through Ekwah's chest, down to his stomach. There was metal inside. "Ekwah…was a machine? That means…" He ripped the 'skin' off of Ekwah. He found a timer inside. "IT'S A BOMB! AND IT'S ONLY GOT TEN MINUTES! We need to find the REAL Hawke NOW!"

Everyone looked at Kai. Karou scratched his head. "REAL Hawke? That wasn't the real one…?"

"Let me explain. Hawke was hospitable in the beginning, and he was absolutely fine. He was obviously a friend. I think the Rhombulans kidnapped him and have him aboard this ship as a power source!" He pointed to a door labeled 'Ship power source.' "And I bet he's in there!" Kai opened the door.

There was Hawke, in a fuel tube. Hayato punched the glass. "It's no good! It won't break!"

Kahn found a console and imputed a password. "One-two-three-four-five-six-seven-eight-nine-zero? WHAT? IT DOESN'T WORK NOW?" Kahn looked at everybody else. "Anybody got a favorite ten-digit-number?"

Honoka piped up. "How about… zero-one-one-eight-nine-nine-nine-eight-eight-one?"

"THANK YOU!" Kahn put it in, and surprisingly, it worked. "Wow. Honoka's a genius."

The tube opened and Chieftain grabbed Hawke. "We need to leave. NOW!" They all ran out of the room.

They all crammed into an escape pod. It may have been a tight squeeze, but it was worth it. Because, about the time they got 100 feet away from the Rhombulan mothership, the mothership exploded. Karou thought out loud, "MY BRAINS…ARE GOING INTO MY FEET!"

A few minutes later, the escape pod slammed into the ground outside of Hawke's yard. Derek kicked the door open. "AIR!"

Karou looked at him. "What's your problem?"

"Being mashed into your armpit after you just fought somebody, Karou. It just smelled terrible."

Karou jumped out. Suddenly, a girl ran up and screamed, "OH MY GOD IT'S KAROU!!"

Karou yelped. "Oh dear god, not a fangirl!" Karou pulled out a tazer and started shocking the girl before she got close enough to smear lipstick on his face. "That was close."

Meanwhile, Rin was poking Hawke. "Is he dead?"

Saitou laughed. "No, Rin, he is not dead. He just is out cold. I feel a spirit on him. Shinta, give me your O.I.T."

"My what?"

"Your Ouendan Issued Tazer. For keeping pesky fangirls away."

"OH! THAT!" Shinta pulled out a tazer and handed it to Saitou.

Aoi was surprised. "You have a tazer?" Aoi thought for a moment. "You…won't use that on me if we get in an argument, right?"

"If you tried to do the strange things fangirls try to do to me, then yes. It's for personal safety."

Aoi pouted. "I want a tazer…"

Saitou looked at her. "Sorry, Aoi. Backups don't get one for some reason. And you cheergirls don't get any at all. Not even Sayaka."

"Why?"

"Because the fans are always about us for some reason. Most of our fans don't care about you girls, because most of them are female."

"Oh."

Saitou gave Hawke a good tazing until he woke up. "ALL RIGHT! I'M AWAKE! STOP SHOCKING ME!"

Much later, at Hawke's favorite restaurant in town, Mellow Mushroom…

Shinta lifted up a glass of Coca-cola. "Thanks for the vacation, Hawke."

"No problem dude. Hey, you guys can come on vacation here, anytime."

Kai looked over to Hawke. "Anytime? For how long?"

"Forever if you want, but I know you guys have duties, as ouendan and all."

"Well…The north and south squads said they want to see some action, so we can take all the time off we want, because they think they can handle it. Of course, if they screw up, we will go back over there, but I don't think they will." Kai chugged a glass of beer.

Meanwhile, Aoi had chugged five glasses of Coke, and had become super-hyper-ultra-crazy, due to all of the caffeine. She was speaking to herself with sock puppets, in English so everybody could understand her. "IF YOU THINK FAST FOOD IS HITTING A DEER AT EIGHTY-FIVE MILES PER HOUR, YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK!"

Anna was also a tad drunk, and was hitting on Shinta. Aoi didn't notice right away though. But that's a story for next time.

End of chapter Seven.

Tune in soon for chapter Eight: VACATION! (Without a hitch this time!)

Jhonic.

Please comment and review.


	8. Chapter Eight: VACATION! FOR REALZ!

**Chapter Eight: VACATION! (WITHOUT A HITCH THIS TIME!)**

In the last chapter, our favorite group of people fought the Rhombulans, along with their leader, Ekwah. They soon defeated the Rhombulans. (BIG surprise there…) Then they went to Mellow Mushroom with Hawke, whom they had saved from the Rhombulans. This chapter starts EXACTLY where the last one stops.

Anna grabbed Shinta's arm. "Shinta, listen." She squeezed his arm harder. "How would you like it if-"

Aoi slapped Anna. "Get away from my boyfriend, you drunk!"

"I'm not drunk!" Anna fell off of the barstool.

Aoi laughed at Anna. "Yeah, good one. 'I'm not drunk!'" Aoi imitated Anna.

Anna stood up and hugged Shinta. "You're so cute, I just-"

Aoi roared at Anna, "GET AWAY FROM MY BOYFRIEND, YOU DRUNK!"

Hawke lifted Aoi off of the ground. "Calm down, Aoi. Be a little more mature. Act your age. We're in a BAR, for god's sake. Hey! I made a pun! Bar and sake!" Kai, who was sitting next to him, laughed.

Aoi rolled her eyes. "But-but-but Anna's trying-"

"Be quiet, Aoi. I'll keep Anna away from him." He tapped Anna's shoulder and pointed out to the patio. "HEY! LOOK! IT'S KEITH RICHARDS!"

Anna dropped Shinta and started to run outside. "WHERE?"

Aoi smiled. "Thank you!"

Shinta looked like he was going to melt. "American…Woman…Hug…"

Hawke laughed at Shinta. "Are you all right? Never been hugged by an American woman?"

Shinta shook his head. "No. NEVER."

Hawke gave Shinta a look. "WELL… You're missing out."

Shinta shrugged. "I'd rather stick with Aoi, here."

Hawke sat down again. "Suit yourself."

Shinta sat at the bar again. "It just felt so… Weird."

Hayato started drinking his first beer of the night. "They tend to, at first, but you get used to it after a while."

Shinta looked at him. "Oh."

While Hayato, Hawke, Shinta, and Aoi talked about Anna and her hugs, Reika was clinging to Ryuta's side. "I love you, Ryuta!"

Ryuta looked at her again. "Yes, you've said that thirty-seven times in the last ten minutes. You don't have to praise me every twenty seconds, Reika."

At the same time, Sayaka was trying to master the art of the arcade game 'Silver Strike Bowling.' Needless to say, she was having a pretty bad time. "This stupid trackball is BROKEN!" The game said she threw her 18th gutter-ball. "ARRGH! This game SUCKS!" She walked over to another arcade machine, and soon found herself playing a cheap knockoff of Scrabble. "Well, this place is great and all, but the videogames are LAME."

Rin walked over, and watched Sayaka play the lame games. "Sayaka, time is money. And with that piece of crap, you're wasting BOTH. Don't play that thing. It's LAME."

Hawke walked over. "We need to go. Anna's getting TOO drunk for her own good." He pointed to Anna, who was pounding on the bar because they would not give her another beer.

Anna pounded on the bar again. "BUT I'M NOT DRIVING! IT'S FINE!"

Kaoru walked over and grabbed Anna by her hair. "Come on, now. Just calm down, Anna. We're leaving." Kaoru started dragging Anna out.

Later, at Hawke's mansion.

Anna was passed out on the couch; Aoi had drawn a moustache on her face in washable marker. Aoi snickered. "Looks good on her."

Reika and Ryuta were laughing their asses off at Aoi's antics. Reika said, "Sure does!"

Anna suddenly sat up and yawned before clutching her head. "Owwwwwwww… What happened? And why do I smell ink?"

Reika, Ryuta, and Aoi busted out laughing. Aoi handed Anna a mirror. "Look for yourself!" Aoi laughed harder when Anna gasped at the moustache on her face.

Anna glared at all of them. "WHO DID THIS?"

This was truly the funniest thing Aoi had ever seen in her life. Breathing hurt, as did her sides. "I-I'll, haha, tell you who did it, heeheehee, if you PROMISE not to hurt them."

Anna sighed. "Okay. FINE. I PROMISE not to hurt them if you tell me who did it."

Aoi laughed. "Okay. Are you ready? I DID IT."

Anna EXPLODED. She roared at Aoi and pulled her fist back, ready to knock Aoi's head CLEAR off of her shoulders. "Wait… What am I DOING? I PROMISED her." Anna lowered her arm.

Aoi nodded. "Yes, you did. And don't worry; it's in cheap washable marker. It's not like the time I made Hajime think he was Adolf Hitler." Aoi grinned as she remembered THAT time.

Anna busted out laughing. "OH… I remember THAT time… He was SO MAD AT YOU…"

Reika looked at Ryuta. "Did Aoi REALLY do that?"

Ryuta nodded. "Oh yes… He LOST IT. He almost tore her arm off. Seriously. He was about to just twist it RIGHT off."

Anna walked into the kitchen and grabbed a wet paper towel. She started wiping the marker off. She came back into the living room with the marker smudged on most of her face. "…It smudged, didn't it?"

Aoi laughed again. "Yes. It did." Aoi gave her a towel.

Anna managed to wipe all the ink off of her face. "Thanks, Aoi. BUT…" Anna slapped Aoi. "If you EVER touch my face again, I swear I'll pull each of your fingers off and feed them to sharks."

Aoi gave her a freaked out look, but she was faking it. "PLEASE DON'T!" Anna left. Aoi looked at Ryuta and Reika. "She's a bitch, isn't she?"

Reika nodded. "She gets that way. I should know. She's MY rival."

MUCH later… At 1 A.M, in Shinta's room…

Aoi slowly opened the door, she got on her hands and knees and crawled into Shinta's room, to his bed. He was sound asleep, much to her relief. She whispered to herself. "Good…" She slid over to his desk and his journal. "Time to see what he REALLY thinks about me!" She CAREFULLY lifted the cover open. "Okay… Let's see… I'll start around December. Before he met me formally…"

Shinta's Journal, December 13th.

"Today, I just noticed this girl in the town across the river, Yuhi town, she has pink hair in pigtails, red glasses, and the cutest face I've ever seen in my life. After I saw her, I couldn't stop thinking about her. She seems to be one of the Yuhi cheergirls. I could have sworn she saw me… She looked RIGHT at me and smiled. She made the cold air very warm. And I felt nice and fuzzy when I saw her."

Aoi's face turned completely red. Her body felt as warm and fuzzy as Shinta described himself when he saw her for the first time. "Oh, Shinta! I knew you loved me, but I didn't know you loved me THIS much, even right from the start!" Aoi suddenly realized she was talking rather loudly, in a very loud voice, in fact.

Shinta began to wake. He opened his eyes and saw Aoi. He gasped and rubbed his eyes. She was still there. "Aoi…? What are you doing? Why are you in here?"

Aoi grinned. "Just reading your journal to see how you feel about me, silly! And I'll be going now…" She started to walk towards the door.

Shinta pointed at her. "Come here." Aoi walked over. "Look, Aoi… I don't appreciate it when you sneak into my room at one in the morning." Aoi frowned. "But I'll forgive you. If you sleep in the bed with me. I'm having a few problems with bad dreams lately, and I'd like somebody to hug…"

Aoi nodded. "Okay! I will! She climbed into the bed and hugged him, before falling asleep."

The next day…

Shinta woke up, and smiled, seeing Aoi sleeping on him. He gently hugged her. "Wake up, sweetie…" He kissed Aoi on the top of the head, and then on her lips.

Aoi woke up as soon as their lips met, and her eyes shot open. She returned the kiss and broke it after a minute or two. She smiled. "Good morning, cutie." She yawned and stretched a bit.

A couple of minutes later, they walked out together. Shinta kissed her again. "You're so cute, Aoi. And I love you."

Aoi gave him a BIG hug. "And I love YOU…"

Shinta felt his back cracking. "Aoi…You're…Crushing…Me…"

Aoi let go of him. "Whoops. Sorry!"

Shinta smiled. "It's okay, Aoi."

Aoi kissed him again. "I love kissing you…"

Suddenly, the whole house screamed with feedback. Hawke yelled through a P.A. system. "SHIT!" He turned down the speakers. "Okay. That's better. Hello, everybody! This is Hawke here, telling you that I have installed a P.A. system to tell you about things and stuff. Today, it looks like mildly cloudy weather, with a 50 percent chance of rain, and a 0 percent chance of snow. And the temperature will stay at a constant 80-85 degrees."

Later in the day, Honoka was walking around with a large, very high-tech camera. She saw Aoi. "Aoi, may I please take a few pictures of you? I need them for something important…"

Aoi nodded. "Of course you can, Honoka! What is it?"

Honoka waggled a finger in Aoi's face. "You'll see…" She fiddled with the camera for a moment. "Okay! Now make a face like Bun-Bun!" Aoi stuck her tongue out the left side of her mouth and kept her eyes open WIDE. Honoka took the picture. "Perfect! Thanks, Aoi!"

It was a few hours later when Honoka walked into her room, holding a LOT of photos. "Okay, that's pictures of everybody, including me, from three sides! Good!" Honoka grabbed a medium-sized stuffed bunny that was very similar to Bun-Bun off of the table. "Good thing I have so many of them…" Honoka pulled a sewing machine out of her closet. She carefully selected a photo from a bin that had everybody's pictures in it. "Ah, Hayato!" Honoka pulled out some blue thread. "Time to see what I can do…"

Meanwhile, out in the living room, everybody was watching television. Ryuta looked around, and noticed the lack of Honoka. "Hey, where's Honoka? She'd be normally whining about us not watching some sort of bunny documentary."

Reika looked over at him. "Yeah… She's not here… I wonder what she is doing…"

Kaoru looked at the both of them. "She must be doing something special for us. She said she was doing SOMETHING, but she took some pictures of me, and walked away…"

Three hours later, the P.A. system once again shrieked with feedback. Everybody heard Honoka's voice. "Hayato! I need you!"

Though she only asked for Hayato, everybody came to her, wanting to see what she had done. They saw a cube, covered with a sheet. J pointed to it. "LOOK! IT'S A SHEET!"

Spin facepalmed. "Commander, HOW did J get to BA-2 again?"

Kahn looked at him. "He simply just joined after Chieftain."

Spin rolled his eyes. "But of course… That could be the ONLY reason."

Kahn nodded. "That and the fact that he's a better dancer than you. And Derek. And Morris."

Hayato looked at the cube and grabbed the edge of the sheet. "Let's see what it-"

Honoka slapped his hand away. "Nah-ah-ah. I'll do it. Presenting…" Honoka pulled the sheet off of a glass case, which held a bunny, that had Hayato's hair, and uniform. "BUNNY HAYATO!" She smiled.

The whole crowd clapped. The bunny was a near-perfect representation of Hayato. Hayato smiled. "It's cute! I love it!"

Honoka pulled the case off of it and gave the bunny to Hayato. "There… And you'll ALL have a bunny of yourselves. It'll take a few days, but you WILL all have one."

Three days later, Honoka was finished.

Honoka gave Shinta the bunny. "There! That's the last one!"

Shinta gave Aoi his bunny and got hers. "Thanks, Honoka! I like the bunnies. They really are great!"

Honoka walked over to Sugita. "Sugita, why don't you open your eyes?"

Sugita scratched his head. "Well… I NEVER open my eyes, DUH. It's to keep me focused."

Honoka frowned. "Will you open them? I'm tired of looking at eyelids. I want to see eyes! You haven't even ever SEEN me!"

Sugita scratched his head. "Okay, okay…" He opened his eyes. "Wow… The light is intense…"

Honoka hugged him. "Of course! By the way… When did you last open them?"

Sugita shrugged. "Sometime a LONG time ago… Like, 5 years ago…"

Honoka smiled. "Wow… That's a LONG time… And your eyes are pretty, Sugita. A pretty golden color…"

Sugita hugged her. "You're cuter than I imagined, Honoka. And now I'm SURE you're the best girl for me…" He planted a kiss on her forehead.

Aoi came out with sandwiches. "WHO WANTS SANDWICHES?"

Kaoru walked over and grabbed one. "I want one! I want one!" He bit into it and gagged. "UGH!" He spat it out all over the floor. "GROSS!" He accidentally threw it at Aoi. "It tastes like overcooked lunchmeat!"

Aoi screamed, because the sandwich magically stuck into her hair. "GET IT OUT! GET IT OUE!" Aoi was attempting to remove the sandwich from her hair. "SOMEBODY HELP ME!"

Kaoru started pulling. "JEEZ. It's REALLY stuck!" He pulled harder. "Jeez!" He ripped the sandwich out of her hair. He stared at a HUGE clump of hair on the sandwich. "Ooh… That had to hurt…"

Aoi was tearing up. "It. Did. Is there an area where you can see my scalp?"

Kaoru shook his head. "No. Not at all…" He stared at her visible scalp. "(Not at all…) Just don't cook again. EVER."

End of chapter Eight.

Tune in soon for chapter Nine: Hawke's Friends.

Jhonic.

Please comment and review.


	9. Chapter Nine: Hawke's Friends

**Chapter Nine: Hawke's Friends.**

In the last chapter, we continued chapter eight, so, they were at Mellow Mushroom. Anna almost got them kicked out, and Aoi did some silly and romantic stuff. And then Honoka made a bunny made to look like Hayato, and then did one for each of them. Then Aoi made some crappy sandwiches.

Hawke was talking on the phone. "Okay, I'll see you in an hour. Goodbye." He hung up.

Meanwhile, everybody was enjoying a Super Smash Brothers Brawl tournament. Kai and Kaoru were battling it out. Kai was Bowser, and Kaoru was Lucario. Kai had just smashed Kaoru off of the stage, thinking he had won. "Hah! You can't win now!"

Kaoru managed to grab the ledge of the stage. He brought a fully charged 'Aura Sphere' with him. He was at 182, so he was at the maximum capability. He threw it, and it sent poor Bowser off the side of the stage, far enough to make sure he did not come back. He grabbed a sticker just before Kai died. "Ironically, I'd bet it's a Kai sticker."

Aoi walked up. "Well, now you have to beat ME."

Suffice to say, Kaoru got his ass beat. Kaoru said, "Nice, Aoi! You did good there."

Aoi grabbed a hammer off of the ground. The victory hammer. Sayaka tied a blindfold around Aoi's head and hung a piñata. "Where's the piñata, Aoi? Where's it at?" She spun Aoi around a couple of times.

Aoi ran around, wildly swinging the hammer, trying to find the piñata. "WHERE?"

Aoi hit J upside the head with the hammer. "IT'S NOT HERE, AOI!" He rubbed his head.

Aoi gasped. "DID I HIT IT? HUH, DID I? HUH? DID I HIT IT? HUH?"

Sayaka sighed. "No, Aoi. You hit J." Sayaka turned Aoi, who was still swinging the hammer, towards the piñata "Try that way!"

Aoi smashed the paper ball wide open. She heard stuff fall onto the ground. She ripped the blindfold off of her head. "Stickers…? COOL!" Aoi picked up many stickers. "Wow! Wait… You said there was a trophy!" The paper ball swung and a trophy fell into Aoi's arms! "COOL!"

Hawke ran out." Hey guys! I have a friend coming over, later. In about 50 minutes to be exact. I need you guys to be on your best beha- WHOA!" He pointed at the mess on the floor. He screamed like a girl. "HELP! The floor has to be SPOTLESS!"

Hayato snickered. "Dude, Hawke, chill. It's under con-"

Hawke cut him off. "No. It's NOT under control. You don't GET it. If Tiffanie finds so much as a GRAIN OF SAND on the floor, it's CURTAINS for me AND our relationship! Do you hear me? CURTAINS!" He ran out of the room.

Aoi whistled and picked up the rest of her stickers. "Oooooooookaaaaaaayyyy…" She left the room.

Hawke ran back in the room with a broom and dustpan. He swept all of the paper and confetti off of the floor. "Everything must be CLEAN!" He pulled a pair of scissors out of his pocket and started trimming the carpet.

Hayato started laughing his ass off. "HA! LOOK AT THIS GUY! AHA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Hayato laughed at Hawke for a while before Hawke said, "You don't KNOW this woman."

Suddenly, the doorbell rang. Honoka went running for the door. "I'LL GET IT!"

Hawke exclaimed, "HONOKA! WAIT! I JUST WAXED-" Honoka slipped on the floor and went sliding down the hallway on her back. "The…Floor…"

There was a quiet thump and an unfamiliar female voice said, "Are you okay?"

Hawke quivered in his shoes. "Oh shit… She's here… Tiffanie…"

Honoka said, "Yes. Thank you. Are you Tiffanie?"

A blue-haired girl with a hairstyle similar to Honoka's, except with a ponytail and bangs, walked into the room, holding Honoka's hand. "Yes, I am. And for a maid, you need to learn to deal with waxed floors." She saw Hawke. "HI!"

Hawke facepalmed. "Tiffanie, before you jump me, allow me to note that there are no maids or butlers around here…"

Tiffanie let go of Honoka's hand. "Oh. Then who is this?" She pointed to Honoka. "Is she some sort of person that you're cheating on me with?!"

Hawke gave her a wide-eyed look. "NO! She's 20 years old! Jesus, no. She has a boyfriend anyways… Jeez…"

Tiffanie smiled. "GOOD." She jumped on him. "HUGGLE TIMEZ!"

Hawke sighed in relief. "Good. I'm glad you're so happy. (I just wish you were not bipolar…)"

Tiffanie SQUEEZED Hawke to the point that he felt like his head was going to pop off of his shoulders. "Oh, I'm so glad to see you!"

Suddenly, there was a LOUD sound, and a LOUD scream. Reika came FLYING out of the kitchen, crying. "OH GOD NOW I DID IT!"

Tiffanie watched Reika run around in circles, screaming. She finally decided to literally slap some sense into her. "Shut up. Calm down. Now, WHAT HAPPENED?"

Reika looked at her. "Who are you?"

Tiffanie facepalmed before telling Reika who she was. "I'm Tiffanie, you know, Hawke's girlfriend, NOW WHAT HAPPENED?"

Reika started sobbing. "Well, I was cooking some food, and I accidentally broke this vase, and it looked expensive, and I think Hawke's going to be mad at me…"

Hawke peeked into the kitchen. "What? THAT vase? You did me a FAVOR, Reika. I wanted that thing gone for a LONG time."

Reika gave him a funny look. "Then why wasn't it broken already?"

Hawke smiled. "Because if I broke it on purpose, Tiffanie would stab me, because she bought it for me, but I thought it was tacky, but I didn't want to hurt her feelings, so, yeah…"

Reika tilted her head and smiled. "Oh." She left the room.

Tiffanie's eyes promptly watered up. "You…Didn't…Like it?" She sniffled for a moment before crying. She ran out of the room, crying.

Kaoru gave Hawke a glare. "Good job, Hawke, now you made her cry!"

Hawke rolled his eyes. "Eh, give her about 5 minutes. She'll be FINE."

And, sure enough, 5 minutes later, Tiffanie was back to her normal self. She asked Kai, "So… What do you do for fun? You look like somebody who doesn't have fun…"

Kai made no sounds and made no noise at all. "………………"

Tiffanie realizes Kai was ASLEEP. "Oh… You're asleep, aren't you?"

Sayaka ran up and hugged Kai. "Yeah. He's so cute when he sleeps. Not to mention that a war could go off right next to him and he wouldn't wake up."

Tiffanie nodded. "Ah… Pretty cool!" She slapped him across the face and screamed because her hand hit one of his 'quills.' "OHMYGODMYHAND!"

Sayaka gasped and grabbed a bandage, before putting it on Tiffanie's hand. "Look out for the 'quills,' Tiffanie…"

Tiffanie nodded, with a few tears coming out of her eyes. "I WILL… Jeez… SHARP…"

Kaoru rolled his eyes. "You have to PUNCH him. A slap across the face will just hurt YOU unless you're wearing metal GAUNTLETS. And make sure not to punch his beard."

Tiffanie nodded. "I'll keep that in mind…" She rubbed her hand a little. "Ouch…"

Hawke walked over and kissed Tiffanie's hand. "Shh… It's okay, Tiffanie." He hugged her lightly. "Cutie."

Honoka walked up to Tiffanie. "Tiffanie, do I have 'boat lights?'"

Tiffanie tilted her head. "'…boat lights?' What do you mean, Honoka?"

Honoka frowned. "Do I have one grey eye and one green eye? Somebody said I did…"

Tiffanie stared at Honoka. She looked at Honoka's eyes. "…No… You have two green eyes, Honoka." She patted Honoka's head. "How silly…"

Honoka sighed in relief. "Thank goodness… I thought I was some sort of mutant freak…" She walked away, smiling. She saw Sugita and jumped up onto his shoulders. "HIIIIIIIIIIIII!"

Sugita's eyes widened and he almost threw her off of his shoulders. "Honoka, please don't do that… You almost gave me a heart attack…" He felt Honoka put something on his head. He looked up and saw a pair of pink bunny ears on his head. "…"

Honoka hugged his head and smiled really big. "YAAAAAAAAAAAAY!" She dangled her legs on his shoulders. "You look SOOOOOOOOOO cute with them!"

Reika walked in and almost had a heart attack laughing at Sugita. "OH. MY. GOD. Heeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheehee! You look SO c- cute! Heeheehee! Little bunny Sugita!"

Sugita started to sweat. "Reika, don't say that… You remember what happened LAST time you said that…"

Reika tilted her head. "Eh? The last time I said little bunny Sugita? What ha-

There was a sudden bang on the front door.

Sugita sweated MORE. "Oh no… You did it now, Reika…"

Honoka jumped off of his shoulders and peeked through the curtains. "Oh god… It's a small mob of fangirls and fanboys…"

Sugita started to shake wildly. "Not again…"

Suddenly, the front door FLEW open. The mob started pouring into the house. One of the fangirls yelled, "WHO SAID BUNNY SUGITA?"

Hawke gestured to the stairs that went to the second floor. "ALL OF YOU GO! NOW!"

Everybody except the mob, Hawke, and Tiffanie scrambled up the stairs, knowing what would happen if they did not hide quickly. Kaoru stopped at the top of the stairs. "Come on, Hawke! Tiffanie!"

Hawke pulled a large sword off of the wall. "GO. GET OUT OF HERE." He started forcing members of the mob back. "GET BACK. DON'T MAKE ME USE THIS." He unsheathed it and swung it around, showing he meant business.

Tiffanie pulled a small object from her pocket. A laser-knife. She flicked it open, and a large pink blade came out. "We BOTH mean business. Get out of here. Let them have a proper vacation, or the carnage will be massive." She stabbed a hole in the wall, showing the sheer power of the blade.

Many of the fans left, but a small group remained. One of them, a male said, "We'll be back, and next time, we'll be prepared…"

One of the remaining fangirls said, "But we're not leaving without a prize…"

Suddenly, the sound of Kaoru screaming for his life was heard. "HELP! THEY'RE TAKING ME!"

The rest of the group quickly left. Hawke cursed them. "GET BACK HERE!" He grabbed Tiffanie's arm and dragged her outside, eying a helicopter in the sky, he said, "Okay, Tiffanie, are you ready for what we've been training for?"

Tiffanie nodded. "Do it." She turned the laser-knife off.

Hawke grabbed both of her arms and started spinning around like a hammer-thrower. He soon got a lot of momentum and tossed her at the helicopter. "GO FOR IT!"

Tiffanie turned the knife on again, and flew past Kaoru, slicing the rope holding him to the side of the helicopter. "SOMEBODY CATCH HIM, QUICK!"

Hawke dove to catch Kaoru. He caught him. If 'caught' meant Kaoru landed on top of Hawke's head, almost crushing it. "OW… MY HEAD… I THINK IT'S UP YOUR ASS, KAORU…"

Kaoru stood up and looked at the almost splattered Hawke on the ground. He saw that Tiffanie was falling. "I GOT'CHA!" He caught her. He looked at Hawke again. "Are you okay, Hawke?"

Hawke sighed. "NO. Your ass just almost crushed my head into oblivion…"

Suddenly, an unfamiliar voice spoke. "Hi, Hawke! I'm here to visit!"

Hawke looked from the sky and saw a purple haired girl, with a ponytail that split into 2 pigtails, which each split into two MORE pigtails, which then all merged back together. "…Larissa, how many times must I tell you…? CALL BEFORE YOU COME OVER, DAMMIT!"

Larissa frowned. "Sorry, Hawke…" She saw Tiffanie. "Hey, Tiffanie! Long time no see!" She smiled and hugged her best friend. "How have you been, girl?"

Tiffanie's eyes widened. "Just fine, Larissa. Just fine…"

Larissa suddenly saw somebody out of the corner of her eye. Chieftain. "…Who is THAT?! That tall, muscular man with the long, black hair? The one in the tuxedo?"

Hawke stood up. "Who, him? That's Chieftain. He looks like a real ass, but he's got a soft side, it's just hard to find it. Or so Starr says. But they broke up, so… If you're looking for a mate in him, you might be in luck…"

Larissa's eyes widened. "Chieftain? That's such an awesome name… I love it…" She practically teleported over to where he was. "Hi, I'm Larissa! I'm one of Hawke's friends! You're Chieftain, right?"

Chieftain was startled by Larissa, as she had appeared out of basically NOWHERE. "Well, yes, I am Chieftain. And it's nice to meet you, Larissa." He walked away quickly.

Larissa smiled. "Playing hard to get, I see…"

Hawke rolled his eyes. "Well, things just got a little more interesting…"

Larissa turned towards Hawke. "Hawke, I know you know I came from a long way… And I was wondering…"

Hawke nodded. "You can stay as long as you like, as can Tiffanie."

Larissa smiled and jumped up and down. "YAAAAAAAAAAAAY!" She skipped off.

Kaoru watched her. "What a strange girl…"

Hawke nodded. "She's psychotic, Kaoru. Just let her be herself. She'll grow on you. Trust me."

Kaoru hugged Tiffanie and Hawke in one big bear hug. "I'm sure she will, and I thank you both for that daring rescue."

Tiffanie giggled. "It's no problem. We've been training for such an emergency for years, among others emergencies."

Hawke nodded. "Yes, Kaoru, it's no problem at all. Now, please stop hugging us, because you're crushing my SPINE."

End of chapter Nine.

Tune in soon for chapter Ten: Hawke's New Enemy.

Jhonic.

Please comment and review.


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